Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Pray


Author: Polydectes
ASL Info:    29/m/South Africa
Elite Ratio:    7.84 - 154 /85 /38
Words: 73
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1067
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 427



Description:




Pray



Each day upon the bird of pray,
No a fellowship nether care or nay,
Not an alive soul would see me real,
Smiling over my facade.

One could eye those false a sympathy,
Eye purposely upon one, though his soul,
For the future, still know how to come,
All one can do is to linger and smile.

But for you my love,
A Smiling fact,
I will




Submitted on 2007-10-08 04:25:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Very profound the way you've chosen to illuminate that true love comes shining through whether it be in the form of hope or a smile... To me this poem paints a picture of someone carrying an eternal wisdom and harbours this precious 'cargo' with a knowing smile. Condoning life happening around him with a tolerance borne out of 'knowing' there is a bigger picture. Yet... the heart softens immediately and the lips curl into a tender smile at the sight of a loved one. So beautifully written and composed...
| Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
  Again another one of your writes I really enjoyed
In this write you speak Great Truth in that at times we may put on a fascade to our peers but the True Friends know that are Love is genuine
I really enjoy your writes
They are true and Honest and written with Great Honest Emotion inside
Great Job!!!
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  

I now where you are getting at with this one saying that you have to pose a deceiving smile to the world or environment in which you are immersed but that the real and truthful smiles are only for the one (s) you love.

You have effectively captured the deviousness with which this world is suffused. I liked the circumspect choice of words and the sharpness of this piece, not to mention the old-fashioned language that I just love.

This is quite moving and effective.

Well done,


Enjoyed this much,


Ethan
| Posted on 2007-10-13 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



150770