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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: O.M.Odots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mr.Ordinary
    ASL Info:    21/M/Navy
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 64/102/41
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 371



    Description:
       im not even close to done, still working on it...update, i changed my mind this is done.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsO.M.Odots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iím so O.M.O,
    Nowhere to go,

    Life is just a risk,
    Bullet shot, bang!
    You missed!

    Full of disappointments,
    Left alone I am,
    Feeling my blood in the sand

    Oh what your words meant,
    Before, before
    The past was past.




    (to be continued)




    Submitted on 2007-10-08 13:48:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I doubt you'll very much appreciate this comment, but I am in need of release to here it goes. My first impression of this piece is that it is an unfinished attempt at something, that you never finished because the feeling was unexplained to yourself when you were taken by it, and by the time it had passed you were just lost and forgot it. As for O.M.O., I am quite certain that it's an abbreviation for On My Own. What I found particularly interesting though was that phonetically, it almost sounds like homo, knowing that said word's H is almost silent with certain accentuations. Why is this interesting? Well, read your own piece keeping that second meaning in mind and you can see that it almost fits perfectly. It actually could, the OMO could serve a double meaning, with the missing H being a manifestation of the invisibly silent feelings you have. Why are they so invisible? Because they are taboo in your family? Who knows. And because you negate these homosexual feelings they create this "OMO" solitude - however I can easily surmise that this perusal is much too imaginative. So why did I waste your time with it? Well.. I quite honestly find that this piece is like an unfinished sentence, hence it loses all meaning because it is misunderstood. Now, given that you have long forgotten this feeling, I've just created an imaginary path that you could choose to take and say, what if this is true, how would I feel? And from there you could finish your sentence, thus this piece and create something. Obviously, you could abnegate the right of ease and create your own idea....... Which is what I assume you will do, proudly.

    I think that you owe yourself as much, and if not, the rest of us on this site as much, for having this piece up. (I mean you owe us an end, even though you said this piece was finished. We both know it wasn't finished, you just didn't feel it anymore. But why not add a second feel, a new occurring one to it, to finish it. I mean, hasn't anybody ever told you to finish your sentences - it's kind of nice.) I also incur a change of the "to be continued" to a "To be terminated" (more so because in french terminate has more of finish meaning, so you could just swap it to, To be Finished).

    Jah, enjoy my useless words.
    Chowda (Bye, in my jargon) - Marc
    | Posted on 2008-04-20 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      O.M.O?

    Tell me when you finish.

    The second stanza, has a nice little rhythm.
    | Posted on 2007-10-08 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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