[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Chic Suicidedots

    Author: Thinkingofyou
    ASL Info:    18/f/The sunny state
    Elite Ratio:    2.83 - 283/423/132
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Misc/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574

       Fuck fashion.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChic Suicidedots

    The fashion scene is kicking my ass,
    A trip to the store on my maroon motorvechical.
    The fashion scene has left me stuck,
    A colorful trench please lay down the flowers.
    The fashion scene has no remorse,
    A beaten webcam with no megapixals.
    The fashion scene wrote me a note,
    A white piece with red marks up and down.
    The fashion scene will not make it up to me,
    A crimson wedding dress tied with a switchblade.
    The fashion scene never vauled me,
    A juvinile with nothing left but her smarts.

    Submitted on 2007-10-08 20:24:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The title made me interested to read this, and I wasn't disappointed. It fits perfectly.

    Very original.
    I laughed when I read the first line. I love it, and I agree... f.uck fashion. It's overrated anyway.

    My favorite part was probably, "A beaten webcam with no megapixals.." That's a wonderful way to say it.

    "A crimson wedding dress tied with a switchblade."

    I love that part too.

    I don't think I've ever read anything like this one, and I enjoyed it. I have no constructive criticism... only compliments.

    Good stuff.
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
    I found this to be quite humorous actually. But yeah, totally, I agree, [censored] fashion do what you want.

    I love how ever other line repeated 'The fashion scene' but yet I feel like that could have hindered you somewhat. The lines in between at times felt forced to me. I think this is a poem that could be taken further. Perhaps beginning each stanza with the fashion scene lines and let the description flow into the next lines, then break and repeat. Just a suggestion.
    | Posted on 2007-10-09 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]