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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Chic Suicidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thinkingofyou
    ASL Info:    18/f/The sunny state
    Elite Ratio:    2.83 - 283/423/132
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Misc/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574



    Description:
       Fuck fashion.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChic Suicidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The fashion scene is kicking my ass,
    A trip to the store on my maroon motorvechical.
    The fashion scene has left me stuck,
    A colorful trench please lay down the flowers.
    The fashion scene has no remorse,
    A beaten webcam with no megapixals.
    The fashion scene wrote me a note,
    A white piece with red marks up and down.
    The fashion scene will not make it up to me,
    A crimson wedding dress tied with a switchblade.
    The fashion scene never vauled me,
    A juvinile with nothing left but her smarts.




    Submitted on 2007-10-08 20:24:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The title made me interested to read this, and I wasn't disappointed. It fits perfectly.

    Very original.
    I laughed when I read the first line. I love it, and I agree... f.uck fashion. It's overrated anyway.

    My favorite part was probably, "A beaten webcam with no megapixals.." That's a wonderful way to say it.

    "A crimson wedding dress tied with a switchblade."

    I love that part too.

    I don't think I've ever read anything like this one, and I enjoyed it. I have no constructive criticism... only compliments.

    Good stuff.
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha,
    I found this to be quite humorous actually. But yeah, totally, I agree, [censored] fashion do what you want.

    I love how ever other line repeated 'The fashion scene' but yet I feel like that could have hindered you somewhat. The lines in between at times felt forced to me. I think this is a poem that could be taken further. Perhaps beginning each stanza with the fashion scene lines and let the description flow into the next lines, then break and repeat. Just a suggestion.
    | Posted on 2007-10-09 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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