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Just Can't


Author: MaxHam
ASL Info:    20/m/NH USA
Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 60 /131 /105
Words: 106
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1531
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 697



Description:


A political piece about how society tends to think for everybody and we all lose sight of what is important.


Just Can't



Don't tell us what to believe.
Don't try and persuade our thoughts.
You are not better than anyone else.
You can not control us.

Nothing will change our minds now.
Nothing will make us stop.
We will peacefully do what we love.
We will fight in a peaceful manner.

Nobody should be allowed to stay quiet.
Nobody should be silenced.
No time is better than now to speak our minds.
No time is greater for freedom of speech.

Don't tell me what to do.
Don't tell me how to behave.
Don't try and make me conform.
Don't try and make me your slave.




Submitted on 2007-10-09 20:56:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  one word bro...AWESOME! this is what i had in my head but cudn't write! this is surely going to my favs list!

my fav lines:

Nobody should be allowed to stay quiet.
Nobody should be silenced.
No time is better than now to speak our minds.
No time is greater for freedom of speech.

these were my fav lines 'cause there is no better time to act than NOW... and most ppl dont want to accept it 'cause all their life they have been taught to cower and hide instead of speaking out what they think!

keep up the great work! :/

-obaid
| Posted on 2008-01-02 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]
  neat how none of the stanzas rhymed until the last one. i enjoyed it alot. i might pay money..(responding to the question)
</3 lisa
| Posted on 2007-11-09 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
  "Don't tell me what to do.
Don't tell me how to behave.
Don't try and make me conform.
Don't try and make me your slave."

i love this stanza, it makes the whole thing end kinda forcefully, but at the same time meaningfully and just... well darnit i cant think of a word. lol but I really like it. *claps* good job I must say.



"Why do you insist on making things difficult?
Why do you want to prevent us?
What is so scary about fighting for your beliefs?
What is the problem you seem to seek?"

I can't really put my finger on it, but this stanza doesn't really speak to me... it might need LESS thought and more feeling... if that makes any sense.... But overall I really like the message it sends.

| Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by tainted-faerie | [ Reply to This ]
  ahh i loved that last line "don't try and make me your slave"! that just wrapped this whole piece up perfectly. every bit of this is oh so true. probably what is on many americans' minds.
</3 lisa
| Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this. i believe this is my first comment on this site, yay!
this is a good write, your views were shown quite clearly, my favorite line by far was "What is the problem you seem to seek?" which is a good summary of a lot of the poem, but you also focus quite a lot of the importance of non conformity (which i highly agree with). i believe maybe you could try connecting your theme of (what im guessing is) "the governmental masses" attempt to create a quiet society with what problems arise to cause people to fear "fighting for [their] beliefs", or such. but in general i think its fine how it is.

good write,
-peace, and stay well
| Posted on 2007-10-09 00:00:00 | by uncertainty | [ Reply to This ]


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