The Tinkering Tinker, I mean Thinker. by Secrets Unheard

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Submission Name: The Tinkering Tinker, I mean Thinker. dots

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Author:	Secrets Unheard
ASL Info:	18/m/nj
Elite Ratio:	4.25 - 84/101/48
Words:	104

Class/Type:	Prose/Serious
Total Views:	100
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	720

Description:
No clue what this is.

The Tinkering Tinker, I mean Thinker. dots

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I'd write about depression, despaire, death, destruction.

I'd write about all the things that make the world go round.

I'd write about Darfur, and encompas all the ideas of little children with bloated bellies watching their mothers being raped and then cut in half by a machete.

I'd write about spelling mistakes, and how that comma shouldn't be there.

But instead, I'll raise my glass, and give a toast to pollution. Not just the one that's suffocating our atmosphere.

But the one that's asphyxiating your little brother in the next room.

AKA.

Human ideas.

Submitted on 2007-10-09 21:38:26 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  The title made me start singing Mr. Tinkertrain (good song... creepy, but that's part of it's charm), so I had to read it.

Prose rarely holds my attention, but this one did. I don't believe I've ever read anything like it, and that's awesome because so many things are overdone these days.

I disagree with the comment that says, "I know why its happening. Satan is ruling this present system of things," and I disagree because that makes Satan seem bad. (Haha That sounds ridiculous, but I'm gonna keep rambling anyway.) Has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe Satan ISN'T the source of all evil? If God really loved us, then I don't think he would give cancer to innocent children or make sure everyone's already born with sin. I mean, letting us sin along the way is one thing, but we shouldn't have to unwillingly start with it. That's not love.
I'm not saying that God's bad either though... I'm just saying we shouldn't be so quick to blame Satan just because the bible tells us to.
Haha But hey, that's just me. I'll get back to my comment now.

I think my favorite line would have to be, "But instead, I'll raise my glass, and give a toast to pollution. Not just the one that's suffocating our atmosphere." That's a very good point.

I like the way this goes from one thing to another without losing the main theme. It all fits together very nicely. And the end... perfect.

I can give you nothing but compliments.

Good stuff.

-nikkki
| Posted on 2007-10-19 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. Harsh, yet true. Humans are not able to rule the world, no matter what type of government they use. It all comes apart in the end.

The part that really made this "stab" would have to be this part:

"encompas all the ideas of little children with bloated bellies watching their mothers being raped and then cut in half by a machete."

That's a horrible thought. I know that it is true, but it makes me so horrified and sad. I can't comprehend these actions. I know why its happening. Satan is ruling this present system of things. He is the "ruler of the authority of the air, the spirit that now operates in the sons of disobedience" (Ephesians 2:2). But I still can't comprehend these things. I could never do something so horrible, never.

This poem, simple as it is, strikes deep.

T
E
A
R
Sing.

| Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
  despaire, = despair doesnt usually have an e on the end unless you are john donne

this is interesting.
i can understand why you dont know what it is.

all the things you could write.
somedays im convinced i could write a book about the life i never lived... people never met... places never seen.

i like the way you cover different genres of thought/writing.
youve got your emo/angst doom doom death and despair
youve got all the things that make the world go round... well that is quite vague considering youll get a different answer from most as to what it is that makes the world go round... some would say love some would say money some would say food and some would say gravity to mention a couple...
youve got an attention grabber. after such a vague 'world go round statement' you focus in on an absolutely hopeless atrocity that really hasnt recieved the intervention needed and in doing so bring the issue fresh to our minds... seems these days if its not on the front page its not worth remembering which means places like Darfur, who are constantly struggling whether remembered or not, continue on unaided.
then you start to speak of analytical educational grammatical technicalities

its as if you cover all bases.

and then you move in for the kill i guess.
what you will actually write about. or toast to.
human ideas.
a very vague statement but one that holds weight for everyone who reads this piece and thinks about the implications.

i would be interested to see you do more with this somehow... i think it has potential...

| Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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