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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inserptsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maki
    ASL Info:    17/ female/ home
    Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 208/210/69
    Words: 346
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1953



    Description:
       Should I continue either of them? I just came up with them whilst listening to some OST's like Pirates of the Carribean and Constantine

    They're unrelated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInserptsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The fog came rolling over the hills in massive clouds. It billowed over the top and poured into the valley like a glass of water into a cup. It suffocated the trees, grass, animals, and people of any sunlight. It became silent and cold. An eerie wind picked up underneath the cloud and began to rustle the trees.

    What...was happening?

    All the people in the land came curiously from their houses, peering into the peculiar nebulous weather above them. The children began to shift uncomfortably as they clung to their mother's aprons. A slight tear forming in their eyes and a small wail from one baby sent them all chiming off in an off key chorus. It was ear shattering. The weather stopped for a moment as the wails echoed off the walls of the valley, ricocheting off any sharp corner and carrying it through the misty trap. Once the crying subsided the women decided to return to their houses, going into any secret door, into their cellars. Protect. Was the only thing crossing their minds.

    ~*~*~*~


    We sat under the sky that night. The twilight came so slowly. We anxiously watched the stars as they appeared through the curtain of sunset. When the majesty of the mountains were no long as impressive as the painted sky, we looked to each other. I could see a gleam in his eyes, he looked...thirsty. Finally, the blanket of velvet was rolled out like the red carpet ready for the stars of Hollywood.

    With a smile he looked to the sky, I saw a smile creep up and stretch from ear to ear, catching myself do the same.

    ... It's time.. was finally released from his impatient lips. He slowly stood. I followed suit and soon, we dissipated into a cloud of mist. Once I realized we were going to go through with it, my whole body trembled with a shake. The coolest of prickles ran down the back of my neck, leaving the hair standing up on end.




    Submitted on 2007-10-09 22:11:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Okay! This time there is a box here. More puzzling than ever. What is with these boxes?

    This story left me unsatisfied. I bet you could afford to give it some more words; and what to do with them would be to lay out more of your imagery and narrative for it, but especially selected to clarify and explain to the reader what's going on - how does your vision get to speak to mine?

    Not sure I'm right ... I love being drawn into an imaginative vision even without a sensation of knowing what's going on! Guess it's an option.
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Is this about vampires? What-t-t-t-t-t!

    I had no real idea what this was until the end. You're title is curious, and so I had to check it out.

    But now I find that I've been tricked. Tricked into an excerpt of a vampiral quality!

    At least, that's what I'm assuming this is.

    It's an ok piece, but nothing in it really made me turn into a fire...
    ablaze the reader must be!
    | Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]


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