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    dots Submission Name: Mourning Morningdots

    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1075
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425


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    dotsMourning Morningdots

    graet frend of fier
    wud eye transgress
    yure ire's gait
    luv to pozess
    not mourning ere dark?

    by smal enuf sofly
    draun am eye
    ni flagon's well b'lo
    mit cement poored
    that maucks the urth

    tu blu it lays
    inept she says
    fur otter ways
    doun slipry slope
    absinthe of hope

    til daun

    Submitted on 2007-10-10 11:10:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like the language...i wasn't sure, old English? but then saw someone say..olde scottish--

    either way...like the dialect and how you still made this flow as if the language is second nature...

    my translation much like latently's

    and i see hope for the dawn that he will steal her heart...right now he is confused, awkward and doesn't know how to approach in the dark...his thoughts are clouded...shadowed...

    but the blue river will flow in the morning, much like his words to her.

    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      My Grandmother's family prayer was written in Ye Olde Scottish and is very similar to this.
    I like the idea of hopelessness till dawn, there really is something about the night and all it holds.
    It strikes me as a sort of Ode to the Sun in a way. Especially the first few lines.
    Very enjoyable and although it is slightly cryptic in parts it is quite fascinating.
    | Posted on 2009-08-18 00:00:00 | by fictionalfiend | [ Reply to This ]
      You must not be a morning person. I'm a night person myself so if that's the case, I commiserate!
    I swear I see that same guy (avatar)every morning, only his coffee cup is even larger.Plus there is coffee spilled all over the white carpet.
    I wasn't exectly sure what to make of this poem. I assumed it could be a guy just waking up and not quite coherent yet?
    Mornings will do that to you.

    Am even I close?
    If not, please explain whenever you get a moment.
    I am truly intrigued.
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by azurwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not particularly good at critiquing. I only know if I like something or I don't.

    Guess what, Monk! I like this one.

    I love the way you spell in this piece. Intrigued to find out what the hell exactly you were trying to say. It's kind of dreamy. I don't know.

    All I know is I felt strangle satisfied upon finishing.

    | Posted on 2007-11-07 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
      I have got to give you extreme credit on this write Blue Monk
    This form of writing is not easy to pull off and you made it look entirely too easy
    You have Great Talent my Friend
    Please dont waste It!!!!
    I will see you in the forum
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is a genius form of writing, and I am sure it is very difficult to create, because I can not create something so well as you did here. I love it. I always love poetry that makes me think and try to figure out, it is almost as if it is a puzzle for your own mind to figure out, and as soon as you figure it out you understand more of what the writer was saying inside of his poetry and understand the feelings inside of it. I love deciphering things like this. I got the same that latentlyrical got on his comment.
    | Posted on 2007-10-16 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      great friend of fire
    would I transgress
    your eyrie's gate
    love to posess
    not morning eerie dark

    by small enough softly
    nigh flagstones well below
    amid cement poured
    that mocks the earth

    too blue it lays
    inept she says
    for other ways
    down slippery slope
    absent of hope

    til dawn

    That's what I got out of the words.
    And I wonder if you wrote the piece the way you did in order to show us that words have many meanings...as many meanings as forms?

    Anyhow, I enjoyed your puzzling read.
    | Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]

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