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    dots Submission Name: Percievedots

    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 617
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1207

       So I had to write this one base on a quote...In all truth I think it marginally matches, but I think it adds a good supplement to my meaning within the poem itself. But whatever, I want to hear what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    “Dark and light, bad and good, are not different but one and the same.”

    Within a stare
    all is color and state.

    You might see
    tranquil sky waters in spring.

    A rolling wave
    after a pleasant disturbance.

    A froth and spittle
    ominous within swirling gloom.

    Clouds frightened by
    hidden clashes and flirting lights.

    Leaves cowering before
    gusts of screams and heavy with stinging dew.

    Splitting bark giving way
    to penetrating words with termite heads.

    Twisting roots twitching
    with every blow of dirty acrid rain.

    Fallen wailing seeds cracked
    and withering upon blind apathetic stones.

    Unpolished and crumbling
    geodes scattered amongst dead cackling twigs.

    Fevering creaking brambles
    parched for desire and trailing hairs of skin.

    Or nothing
    pining away at pits and cores.

    You might see
    your reflection within a speck or an entirety.

    Because you know
    you’ve felt it all before.

    Submitted on 2007-10-10 14:24:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      The poem doesn't exactly match the quote, but they do work well together. Someone can see beauty or good in dark or dire circumstances. In that way I can agree with the quote, and also in that way, I believe your poem is a good representation. I do believe you could do more with the poem. Only one thing comes to mind. It needs a spash of color I believe.
    I do like the poem as is. I enjoy your style.

    | Posted on 2007-10-11 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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