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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ' MAN OF WAR 'dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Polydectes
    ASL Info:    26/m/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 144/72/34
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 221
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 549



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots' MAN OF WAR 'dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In my ocean affix my anchor
    As the wind approach its ease
    Loosing its clutch in its chamber,
    Silencing her drifting pleads,
    And the turn of the main reel,
    At the decree of the commander
    To see the secrets the soul would conceal.

    On my flat erect the unknown
    As my current change west into east,
    Turning its nose to the prone,
    Welcomed by steam and the screams,
    “To the heavens with skulls!”
    With one do, it goes
    away on my ocean to skulk.




    Submitted on 2007-10-11 03:37:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i thought it was boring, tbqh. it gave me little tapas of images but not enough to really get me going. see if you can elaborate.
    | Posted on 2007-10-12 00:00:00 | by Passy | [ Reply to This ]
      What I like about this is how it was able to avoid being cheap. The thing about pieces under this genre is that, they tend to become too heavily detailed with their vikings and their dragons and their witches and their wizards that they tend to, ironically, lose all sense of magic. This, successfully avoided that by giving room for the reader's imagination to run wild.

    I think that the beauty of this piece relies a great deal on its overall tone. I think that its current appearance allows it to be presented as an injection in the middle of something big that it allows the disposition of the reader to fill in the blanks and lets it connect with it in their own way.

    I also like how you stayed true to its characteristics. I think that that shows great discipline considering how hard it is to write under solid parameters.

    All in all, I think it's a decent piece.
    | Posted on 2007-10-12 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



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