Interesting analogy. I like how you delivered it. Some just never make it into the clique of life. I should know, I'm one of them- I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. But I do know... this poem is good.
Take Care!
Lisa, this poem kinda makes me think of myself as a youngster. I grew up in a remote country area, and didn't fit in with urban social groups or urban society very well (I was self-sufficient, not interested in making compromises just for social acceptance, and a bit too country)! This is a poem with a lot of soul in it, and I enjoyed reading it very much!
people throw round the idea of life being a hand of cards but no one has taken it so far and eloquently as you have.
this is really well done.
the ideas you assess through the progression of this piece are very well thought out and expressed.
it is true that, until we are mixed with other people, we know nothing about differences and needing to share and people potentially not liking us. and then, when you see children integrated into unfamiliar situations, you watch them become disorientated and see them behave in ways they wouldnt normally. snatching toys from other kids and pulling the cats tail etc.
and if that isnt enough there comes the point where you realise you are not in the "in" crowd. and it doesnt matter the striving or the longing. you cannot make it in. and do not think that just coz we are all grown up now we dont have the exact same thing going on... we're just more civilised and wearing more makeup is all.
twos and eights versus aces and faces... very well done. i like that you point out the whole bluffing thing. i learnt how to play poker on a rooftop in berlin at 3am with instructions given to me in 3 languages, none of which i understood. but i was able to sit there and look like i knew what i was doing and managed to stay in the game a whole lot longer than i should have...
your title is perfect.
nameless.
you are a no ace no face girl.
it sucks but its true... this game isnt for you
I must admit, I always get excited when you post something new, and I have never been disappointed.
I read a lot of stuff on here, but I don't feel them the way I feel yours. There's just... something extra.
You have the most fascinating way with words, and truth drips from every one of them.
I like how you've wound the cards throughout the entire thing. It seems like an overused metaphor, but your brilliant creativity has managed to make it new. (Haha Sorry for all the compliments, but they're true.)
"Once again it's two's and eight's
Deadman's hand - you swallow hard
Trying to bluff as if worth a flush
But they know this isn't your game"
That might be my favorite part, although it's hard to pick. It all goes together so perfectly, and the descriptions are amazing.
I almost wish there was something here to critique so this comment would be more useful, but I wouldn't change a thing.
Lis,
When I first started to read this I thought the title was in reference to not having a name for it; but after reading I realize it is a perfect title. I understand this on my own level here and brings back some old memories from school and those first few years after graduating...I like the relation to cards - interesting look at this
Submission Name: Nameless
