Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Come, Toodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tisa
    ASL Info:    17~Female~YourImagination
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 3/7/11
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 176
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1062



    Description:
       I dunno, some people from DeviArt liked it, so maybe you will, too.

    It's okay if you don't :P


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Come, Toodots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm on a journey to find the perfect place.
    There'd be much joy and plenty of space.
    I'm on a quest where there's no harm,
    A place that's safe, fun, and warm.
    There's a home like that, you come, too.

    When we get there, we'll be happy forever.
    Scary things will be there, never.
    Hope will shine its light all day and night.
    The glow of smiles will stay bright.
    We'll reach there soon, you come, too.

    When we arrive, friendly people will greet us.
    Everything's clean and no sign of lifeless dust.
    Children will perpetually laugh and play.
    There'll be bright green fields of May.
    We're almost there, you come, too.

    It's been months, we finally arrive.
    But there's absolutely no sign of life.
    All I've heard about this place are all wrong.
    All this time of traveling was in vain and long.
    The light of hope is still bright, you come, too.




    Submitted on 2007-10-14 09:17:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this one as well, but you have to watch your meter and rhyming, the first couple of stanzas are off
    read it aloud and see if you can spot what im talking about
    just reaarange the words to fit the rhythm and this will be great
    I hope you keep writing, if you need inspiration come find one of my whacky poems
    Im sure you will find you like
    good job- Bill
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.