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    dots Submission Name: Be (Woven In the Earth)dots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 634
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 912


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBe (Woven In the Earth)dots

    To be or not to be,
    The old and faithful question,
    Since, me, plus she means that we,
    “We" is predestined,
    But we ain’t “is” and,
    And we ain’t “were”,
    Since I see fatally,
    Out fate was curbed,
    Ungratefully, so clear,
    Something like Claritin,
    No faith, whole tears,
    What's love, hope, and marriage and-
    Trust, what are those?
    What’s the definition?
    Quests to match my prose,
    With my premonition,
    Its OneQuest called love,
    And we’re all on the search,
    Born with bias, torn by it,
    Till we lost it at birth,
    We believed it, when,
    We were woven in the earth,
    I’m starting to think,
    It came out with the spurts,
    of Growth, but, still
    I struggle to make it work,
    I’ve believed it, since
    I was woven in the earth

    Submitted on 2007-10-16 08:33:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was great. I agree with Raivn that the beginning had abetter flow then the end. Your imagery was vivid and lucid (my two words of the day :] )

    Since, me, plus she means that we,
    “We" is predestined,
    But we ain’t “is” and,
    And we ain’t “were”,
    and "we were woven in the earth" are my favorite parts; great lines!!

    One problem is had was the ending; it felt a bit abrupt and just didn't seem to fit well. Maybe once I give it a second read, I'll get abtter feel for it...but as always, great job!!!
    | Posted on 2007-10-19 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      I didnt particularly love the poem, but i did enjoy certain parts of it, a lot of nice imagery for those who can see through it
    I love the part where you say we are woven into the earth
    Like the earth is a canvas
    and we are the color that completes it

    great job, -Bill
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      To be or not to be,
    The old and faithful question,
    Since, me, plus she means that we,
    “We" is predestined

    I love the flow of this...particularly the very first part...

    You have very cleverly played with these words, and I think that is the mark of a good writer...the ability to take simple words and put so much meaning and complexity behind them.

    So, I am very happy with this...
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

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