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    dots Submission Name: Dissidences Lullaby dots

    Author: gothicgirl
    ASL Info:    23/f/recreant world
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 127/111/48
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 863
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 993

       I wrote it to my lil sis who has the determination to be just like me yet she can be so much better and i want her to be happy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDissidences Lullaby dots

    Child lie your head upon this pillow
    And never be afraid to cry
    Yes, life is hard, I really canít lie
    But what does it matter when were all going to die?

    Hereís a safety pin, donít hesitate pierce it through your skin
    A drop of blood to seal our fates
    A moment realized a second to late
    Now I canít run nor can I hide
    Gods not my savior thatís why I died.

    Hope and faith they all turn away
    Cause they canít face the truth as her body decays
    Bound by the doom of being alone
    While this worlds happiness sets in stone

    The tears they cry and things they canít see
    Oblivious to the fact that there not really free
    But how does one tell when there empty inside
    We all have the virus we all have to lie

    Life still goes on; time never stops and either do we
    Thatís why my child Iím hoping
    You wonít grow up to be just like me!

    Submitted on 2007-10-16 10:55:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      loved it.. it kind of reminded me of someone reading something to a room of people.. were there all sitting there transfixed upon the reader, and you act out all the words your poem. good work.
    | Posted on 2011-11-09 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, the adoration of a sister is beautiful,
    I have younger sisters too, and they are just like this, wanting to be what you have become but all you want is for them to be better than you ever could be. You must love her very much as Im sure you do, and this has a very deep emotional sentiment attached to it that goes for beyond the words of the poem; it lies more in the nature of humans and their closeness with their families.
    great write, and you could change a few things but it wouldnt change the emotion in this piece

    You are a good writer, so I hope to see more from you, gothicgirl
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
      The first and second stanza seem kind like they don't fit the rest of the poem. But from stanza 3 to the end I loved it. It was written very well, but it didn't have much emotion. Other than that it was great. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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