Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Avenge This Poisondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dimension_X
    ASL Info:    17/F/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 124/108/70
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1112



    Description:
       Random thoughts during my Lit Class.

    Stems off of "Hamlet"

    Comments would be well appreciated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAvenge This Poisondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Circle, square, smaller square.
    Blue, green, lighter blue.

    You're giving a validation/
    /a reasoning
    to a villian of sorts.
    Machevelli's Iago
    recreated
    to a lesser power.

    The devil of temptation has sent his ghost
    to avenge his poisoning-
    and that of his wife.

    A summoned spirit
    concerned for his country
    and its inevitable demise.
    Soul - unrested and uneasy
    telling the dreaded tale of the downfall
    of wives, sons, and citizens.

    Is this being from
    beyond the clouds.?
    or from the
    hell of Hades' domain?

    Open your celestial lips
    and speak, spirit.
    What are you here for?
    and what are your motives?

    Is there fire sparking in your kindred soul?
    Playing upon the loss of your son.
    Blood boiled in confusion.

    Circle, square, smaller square.
    Returning to one point again,
    even though it never left to begin with.






    Submitted on 2007-10-17 10:18:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting. I can see somewhat how it stems off of Hamlet. It's been ages since I read it though.

    The only part that doesn't seem to fit is:

    "Circle, square, smaller square.
    Blue, green, lighter blue."

    What in the world is that? How does it connect with the rest of this? I'm all confuzzled.

    Otherwise, very classicly styled. Good job.
    | Posted on 2007-10-26 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      "Open your celestial lips"
    i dont think i have heard that before, i loved that line...it was a very nifty way of putting that

    this was very cool, very interesting
    random thought is the best way to write, I think, it just feels more natural
    i hate it when something feels forced and coerced
    you did this quite well
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151279

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Mystery Read written by kyserin

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry