[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: k salve.dots

    Author: weepingwillow
    ASL Info:    23/f/Brighton
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 38/75/35
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 1017
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 749

       my sexuality is fettered with soppy imaginings,mopped up by corny liasons!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsk salve.dots

    your hair
    is so thick and
    your feet move like ecstatic knomes.
    your delicate mouth eats peanut butter in an admirable fashion
    a manner i obsess over
    and your character develops-

    you ask 'do you feel like we've met before?'
    and i bustle over this
    whilst wiping the dew over my face
    that displaces the arid nature
    of lurid grasp..

    ..Lesprit descalier.

    interpreting your claptrap animated walls
    is placing my head under guillotine-
    only pushing my wanton fingertips
    my tiny mind gesticulates wildly
    and is deserted
    craving sweetness

    your wonky imbalance
    sure is crunchy.

    Submitted on 2007-10-17 18:13:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love this! Ecstatic knomes made me laugh as I was temporarily transported into my mind imagining little knomes scurrying about. But eventually I returned to finish reading. i was further seduced by the assonace in the second stanza; face , displaces, nature
    The only line that leaves me puzzle is at the end I have no insight to what this wonky imbalance might be as far as it being crunchy it leaves me to wonder if you like crunchy things I love them personally. Anyway. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-11-04 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I did enjoy this read, although I can't say that I know what the piece is about. I like the style of the piece. I'm not too sure about the grammar in some places. Do you mean gnomes?
    I do believe the piece could use maybe a little more fluidity, but I have some unorthodox ways myself.
    Stay Original & Cutting Edge,

    | Posted on 2007-10-19 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      lol this is fantastic
    so different than most of what I see on here
    I feel the same way over this girl I met a few weeks ago, I just admire every little thing about her , but before I give you my life story
    I have to say I liked this, lots of originality,
    didnt all make sense but it made me lol.

    thats what counts.

    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
      "your wonky imbalance
    sure is crunchy."

    I LOVE THIS!!!

    I think that's the best and most original line I've read all day...

    "your hair
    is so thick and
    your feet move like ecstatic knomes.
    your delicate mouth eats peanut butter in an admirable fashion
    a manner i obsess over
    and your character develops-"

    I love that as well...the attention to details like the eating of the peanut butter...I love things like this...it shows me that there are other people out there that pay attention to, and tend to immortalize, the strange, random little everyday actions of the person they are enamored of...

    I think this is not only clever, but fun.

    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]