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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vulnerabilitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tisa
    ASL Info:    17~Female~YourImagination
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 3/7/11
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 149
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 849



    Description:
       Okay, I know stuff doesn't rhyme, and I didn't really want it to to begin with, so bite me.
    Emm, please don't be afraid to bash me or whatever, I just wish to know your thoughts. I will never be offended, so don't hold back.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVulnerabilitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    As days withered away, Grandfather Time never making exceptions.
    I regret those memories where I completely lost my internal perception.
    From these mistakes, I've grown to know that everything I did was all wrong.
    My lost childhood, those dissapated moments of which Grandfather robbed.
    Losing my original, personal inflection, there appeared new traits that I wasn't aware.
    Due to this, I no longer cared to know, but began a thirst for knowledge to care.
    Inflicted by the past, I thought abiding the rules kept me safe and secure.
    But now I realize they are merely warnings, nothing near a heroic figure.
    I anticipated my strengths and prowess would protect what is dear to me.
    Although I've come to acknowledge that my true potential resides in my Achilles' heel.




    Submitted on 2007-10-17 20:53:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well I've read your poem now. To see what's up with your big mouth. And yeah l;ike that nazi-fag you can't write for [censored]. This ain't even a poem just some random thoughts. If it's supposed to rhyme then make it rhyme right if not, not. You'd be better off trying to do something else as I see no future for you as a poet...
    | Posted on 2007-12-19 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the poem
    it has a very real feeling to it
    "thought the world would protect me"
    the only thing I would change is the grandfather time part, it was way too cliché for my tastes, think of something more abstract
    Idk, you did a good job on this but read it over and make sure everything is in the right tense
    i
    the first line

    -Bill
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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