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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Teaseddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WD
    ASL Info:    44/M/Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 7/6/19
    Words: 317
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 118
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1633



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTeaseddots
    -------------------------------------------


    11:00 P.M.; I lie down on the bed and smell the aroma of your hair on my sheets, thinking of you, alone, then faded off to sleep. Sometime later, there I was standing in a desert. The sand was hot and burned my feet. I walked as fast as I could with the sun beating down on me. I wasn't very happy where I was and my heart started racing. I stopped and closed my eyes. Quickly, I looked back at my footprints in the searing sand. They were in an awkward line all twisted and turned. Then I was standing on a beach. It was a crystal clear sky at night and millions of stars filled the sky with a high cresent moon. It was so bright that the reflection produced an aurora of soft glowing ambient light off the white sand of the beach. I started walking again. I kept going for a long time it seemed. Then, you came out of nowhere. Maybe from the dunes or where some palm trees lined the shore. You walked over to me and we just stood there looking at each other. A soft smile came across your face. We never said anything. We started walking down the shoreline. The waves were cold as they washed over my feet. You jumped and splashed us. We both laughed then continued on. The breeze was blowing your hair gently across your face and back. We looked again at each other and I peered into your brilliant hazel eyes. We never kissed or said anything during the whole time. We didn't have to. I looked back and saw two sets of footprints in the white cool sand. They were in a straight line. I woke up sometime later at 4:45 A.M. I lay there staring into the black night and said aloud to myself, "Was it a dream?"




    Submitted on 2007-10-17 20:54:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ah, lovely lucid dreams...great things, huh?

    This is a dreamy piece of prose that is well written. I like the desert/ocean shore thing. Seems to be perfect dream landscapes. Something so surreal and unreal about them...

    This reminds me of the song "Lady Fantasy" by Camel. Here are just excerpts of the lyrics:
    "Listen very carefully, my words are about to unfold
    Concerning a lady I've seen but I never could hold...
    The words that come through,
    I see that they're true,
    For she reminds me of you...
    Saw you sitting on a sunbeam,
    In the middle of my daydream,
    Oh my Lady Fantasy,
    I love you"

    See how it seems to connect? Very similar, eh? Anyways, good job with this. Keep it up!



    Just a few spelling errors I caught:
    "wakward" = awkward (probably just a typo)
    "along" = a long
    "strait" = straight
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      You walked over to me and we just stood there looking at each other. A soft smile came across your face. We never said anything

    I love moments like this...where there is a silent understanding...

    This is nice...
    | Posted on 2007-10-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]



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