Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Staydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 528



    Description:
       Well...I'm not really sure about this. It came to me in my english lecture and is written in the margins of my book next to Gerard Manley Hopkin's "Carrion Comfort". I don't know where it came from, but it has been the only burst of inspirtation I've had in a long while...so I'm not complaining. I'm not sure, so let me know what you think. I almost feel like I could divide it into two different poems, but...I'll stop rambling.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Don't leave me...please.
    Don't go away.
    I don't know how
    to make you stay.

    I love you, but
    I turn around
    and you disappear
    without a sound.

    I see you there
    across the room.
    Did you leave me,
    or did I leave you?

    Was I the one
    who let you down?
    After all...
    I turned around.

    Forgive me...please.
    Just don't go.
    Can't you see
    I love you so?




    Submitted on 2007-10-20 14:36:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm. not so sure i see two seperate poems here. i mean this is pretty concise and to the point. about as straightforward as a piece of poetry could be.
    confused,guilty feelings mixed with a shot of paranoia.on the rocks.
    good,good
    1
    | Posted on 2007-10-20 00:00:00 | by eno1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151435

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry