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    dots Submission Name: Pigdots

    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1412

       A non-Villanelle.

    Oh and "You tell me rejection is good for one's heart and soul" is a lyric from the song 'Sin' by Android Lust.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A bitter sweet kiss, softly malign,
    lips murmuring with Aconite warmed breath.
    You tell me rejection is good for ones heart and soul.

    Oh my sweet, these hands are but a figment
    of torturous fantasy, real in thought.
    You say to me.
    Each kiss growing gently wicked, urgent with need.

    Love and thirst the idea of me, yearn
    the reminisce of a spineless drum beneath your palm.

    You tell me use is but all which it is.

    Never, never let free searching eyes
    replace my elusive essence with another male in hunger.

    Lips weaving, kneading, delicately crazed in malice.

    You are mine, I grant your ravenous ends of padded flesh
    no permission to impress themselves upon my notional skin.

    You tell me, thinking submission plagues my mind.

    Can you no longer feel my taste upon your tongue?
    Have your hands become cold, yet burn in anguish?
    Is that why your tart kiss has become so insistent with fear?
         you told me, rejection is good for ones heart and soul.

    Submitted on 2007-10-20 22:13:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the flow of this piece. It reads like a song, but not a cheesy, poppish song. I like the language.

    "You tell me use is but all which it is."
    For the life of me I cannot make sense of this.
    Maybe you can expain.

    Overall, nice work

    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I really enjoyed reading this. Lovely use of certain words...I appreciate a writer that can use more advanced language. I also really liked this:

    "Can you no longer feel my taste upon your tongue?
    Have your hands become cold, yet burn in anguish?
    Is that why your tart kiss has become so insistent with fear?
    you told me, rejection is good for ones heart and soul."

    Kind of reminds me of my ex...eeek!
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

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