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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dark-red-pain
    ASL Info:    15/f/Aus
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 447/432/65
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 134
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    escape.
    swallow.
    whether it be drugs or alcohol.
    escape.
    forget about your thoughts and dreams and pains.
    escape.
    and when you fall even further the following day
    escape.
    do it over and over again
    until it doesn't hurt anymore
    until you're nothing.
    escape.
    because you can't handle it any more.
    but you can't go back to your old habits.
    form new ones.
    escape.
    swallow.




    Submitted on 2007-10-21 00:50:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome...

    I don't think you need to change a things about it.

    This is perfect...a cold, hard look at the things that drive us mad, and what we will do to escape them.

    Swallow...

    Great job.
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Swallow... What a wonderful concept. I swallow at least six or seven pills everyday (although I'm supposed to take two), so I kind of know what you mean.

    I really like this. It's sad, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. The way it's set up is very nice too. You make a wonderful point.

    "and when you fall even further the following day
    escape."

    That may be my favorite part. It's true that you can't go back to old habits and must form new ones because the old ones just don't work anymore (aside from the fact that it also seems so much better).

    "until you're nothing"

    That makes me think of being numb... which drugs and/or alcohol can do.

    I would critique something to make this comment more useful, but as usual, there's nothing I would change.

    You always say it best (no matter what "it" is).


    Beautifully done.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]



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