Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dark-red-pain
    ASL Info:    18/F/Strayla
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 447/432/65
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    escape.
    swallow.
    whether it be drugs or alcohol.
    escape.
    forget about your thoughts and dreams and pains.
    escape.
    and when you fall even further the following day
    escape.
    do it over and over again
    until it doesn't hurt anymore
    until you're nothing.
    escape.
    because you can't handle it any more.
    but you can't go back to your old habits.
    form new ones.
    escape.
    swallow.




    Submitted on 2007-10-21 00:50:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome...

    I don't think you need to change a things about it.

    This is perfect...a cold, hard look at the things that drive us mad, and what we will do to escape them.

    Swallow...

    Great job.
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Swallow... What a wonderful concept. I swallow at least six or seven pills everyday (although I'm supposed to take two), so I kind of know what you mean.

    I really like this. It's sad, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. The way it's set up is very nice too. You make a wonderful point.

    "and when you fall even further the following day
    escape."

    That may be my favorite part. It's true that you can't go back to old habits and must form new ones because the old ones just don't work anymore (aside from the fact that it also seems so much better).

    "until you're nothing"

    That makes me think of being numb... which drugs and/or alcohol can do.

    I would critique something to make this comment more useful, but as usual, there's nothing I would change.

    You always say it best (no matter what "it" is).


    Beautifully done.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151455

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Linger written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry