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    dots Submission Name: waspdots

    Author: freeradical
    ASL Info:    22/feline/london
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311/405/63
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1224
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 349

       i love random thoughts.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    my mind
    is screaming fuck you.

    my body
    is screaming fuck me.

    and i'm stuck between the two
    like a wasp between
    the window panes.

    try and grab me and i swear
    i'll sting.

    it might kill me
    but jesus,
    it would feel good to hurt you.

    Submitted on 2007-10-21 13:33:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      So glad I looked at some of your other things than just the one I read........ This is great.

    Short, sweet.

    Great imagery.

    ...Not really anything else to say that hasn't been said already.

    ...The only thing I can think of is that last line. I kind of get stuck on it. Maybe change "It would" to "It'd." It flows a bit better... Or maybe it's just me (likely).
    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the best piece of Satire on belligerency I have ever read. A great exposure of wickedness which entraps the very being of a person. This piece exposes the futility of causing harm to something that can not be harmed ; thus, the endeavor of doing so has no purpose of fruition. The victim is trapped in a nether-nether world where purpose can have no hope of accomplishment. This piece also reminds me of the terrible sense of debillity which comes through addiction to any mind destroying substance.
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      haha what a random thought indeed.
    the harsh honesty of the whole idea is brilliant. i dont think ive read anything as blatant as this in the longest time.

    and yes... this is an interesting place to be.
    the mind screaming fvck you could be taken a number of ways but im taking it as a its over/[censored] kinda statement and yet it is contrasted with the second fvck me which is one of needing and longing no matter what a fvcker he is to you...

    hence the wasp stuck between the two panes of glass [which is a brilliant image here]

    some days it would be nice to hurt people. i know that sounds cruel but its true... some days people deserve to be hurt the way they have hurt us [though hopefully our logic on this issue has been swayed before we actually make any steps in the actioning of the hurt]
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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