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wasp


Author: freeradical
ASL Info:    22/feline/london
Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311 /405 /63
Words: 53
Class/Type: Poetry /Satire
Total Views: 1339
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 349



Description:


i love random thoughts.


wasp



my mind
is screaming fuck you.

my body
is screaming fuck me.

and i'm stuck between the two
like a wasp between
the window panes.

try and grab me and i swear
i'll sting.

it might kill me
but jesus,
it would feel good to hurt you.




Submitted on 2007-10-21 13:33:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  So glad I looked at some of your other things than just the one I read........ This is great.

Short, sweet.

Great imagery.

...Not really anything else to say that hasn't been said already.

...The only thing I can think of is that last line. I kind of get stuck on it. Maybe change "It would" to "It'd." It flows a bit better... Or maybe it's just me (likely).
Rachel
| Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]
  This is the best piece of Satire on belligerency I have ever read. A great exposure of wickedness which entraps the very being of a person. This piece exposes the futility of causing harm to something that can not be harmed ; thus, the endeavor of doing so has no purpose of fruition. The victim is trapped in a nether-nether world where purpose can have no hope of accomplishment. This piece also reminds me of the terrible sense of debillity which comes through addiction to any mind destroying substance.
| Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  haha what a random thought indeed.
the harsh honesty of the whole idea is brilliant. i dont think ive read anything as blatant as this in the longest time.

and yes... this is an interesting place to be.
the mind screaming fvck you could be taken a number of ways but im taking it as a its over/[censored] kinda statement and yet it is contrasted with the second fvck me which is one of needing and longing no matter what a fvcker he is to you...

hence the wasp stuck between the two panes of glass [which is a brilliant image here]

some days it would be nice to hurt people. i know that sounds cruel but its true... some days people deserve to be hurt the way they have hurt us [though hopefully our logic on this issue has been swayed before we actually make any steps in the actioning of the hurt]
| Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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