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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: waspdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freeradical
    ASL Info:    22/feline/london
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311/405/63
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1224
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 349



    Description:
       i love random thoughts.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswaspdots
    -------------------------------------------


    my mind
    is screaming fuck you.

    my body
    is screaming fuck me.

    and i'm stuck between the two
    like a wasp between
    the window panes.

    try and grab me and i swear
    i'll sting.

    it might kill me
    but jesus,
    it would feel good to hurt you.




    Submitted on 2007-10-21 13:33:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So glad I looked at some of your other things than just the one I read........ This is great.

    Short, sweet.

    Great imagery.

    ...Not really anything else to say that hasn't been said already.

    ...The only thing I can think of is that last line. I kind of get stuck on it. Maybe change "It would" to "It'd." It flows a bit better... Or maybe it's just me (likely).
    Rachel
    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the best piece of Satire on belligerency I have ever read. A great exposure of wickedness which entraps the very being of a person. This piece exposes the futility of causing harm to something that can not be harmed ; thus, the endeavor of doing so has no purpose of fruition. The victim is trapped in a nether-nether world where purpose can have no hope of accomplishment. This piece also reminds me of the terrible sense of debillity which comes through addiction to any mind destroying substance.
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      haha what a random thought indeed.
    the harsh honesty of the whole idea is brilliant. i dont think ive read anything as blatant as this in the longest time.

    and yes... this is an interesting place to be.
    the mind screaming fvck you could be taken a number of ways but im taking it as a its over/[censored] kinda statement and yet it is contrasted with the second fvck me which is one of needing and longing no matter what a fvcker he is to you...

    hence the wasp stuck between the two panes of glass [which is a brilliant image here]

    some days it would be nice to hurt people. i know that sounds cruel but its true... some days people deserve to be hurt the way they have hurt us [though hopefully our logic on this issue has been swayed before we actually make any steps in the actioning of the hurt]
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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    151468

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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