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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: November Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ari Leukos
    ASL Info:    17/Male/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.92 - 92/129/44
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 72
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 901



    Description:
       Another poem for class. Based upon a Lucy poem by Wordsworth.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNovember Raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have wandered through countless glens
         Of tree and fields of grass;
    But gazing through my mem’ry’s lens,
         Choose here my time to pass.

    Speak! Where else can to this compare?
         My loft in star-filled day
    And mint grass; where birds take to air
         O’er season’s watery way.

    Yet come and gone, whence passed the night
         Lit by steaming embers;
    The rain! The rain—has drowned her sight
         Veiled by cold Novembers.

    Now, by the dawn this dusk will pass,
         And diamonds fill the sky;
    But she’s now wise, my lovely lass,
         As storm-wizened as I.




    Submitted on 2007-10-21 17:20:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      ha. when i saw the title i thought about the Guns N Roses with the same title.

    i think to be storm wizened has its advantages and disadvantages. advantages are that you are stronger and street smart and are better equipped for whatever faces you but disadvantages are that usually one has to go through some pretty ugly things to get to that point...

    i get thrown when i read pieces that talk about november in a bad light because here november is the promise of summer [or rumours there of] and so i get temporarily confused.

    i think the language you have used in this piece and the phrasing of the words work well together and it is plain to see that you have put a lot of thought into the presentation of this piece. well done
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Seeing the title reminded me instantly of a Regina Spektor song:

    "On the radio
    We heard November Rain
    That solo's really long
    But it's a pretty song
    We listened to it twice
    'Cause the DJ was asleep"

    Although... I don't think that has anything to do with the poem. I quite enjoyed the rhythm of the poem! It ends up being just, just right.

    I like every single bit of this poem. Mint grass, star-filled day... those diamonds that fill the sky. Very much reminded me of Wordsworth—and a certain other book. :-)

    It's nice to see something new you've written, Frank.

    Peace, Lucy
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]


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