A Eulogy to an Oath (9 to 5) by Secrets Unheard

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Submission Name: A Eulogy to an Oath (9 to 5) dots

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Author:	Secrets Unheard
ASL Info:	18/m/nj
Elite Ratio:	4.25 - 84/101/48
Words:	421

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	91
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1700

Description:
I wrote this at work.

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A Eulogy to an Oath (9 to 5) dots

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-------------------------------------------

For once.
We stop,
we analyze,
we are appalled.

This is what we've
become.
Black suit,
black noose---tie.
Black tie.

The business men line the highest cliffs of their respective countries.

The vultures continue the cycle.

They Circle.

They circle the sky, creating a pitch black halo.

They jump, reciting their oath and eulogy,
"Buy, buy, sell, sell."

Catch the symbolism.

9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5. 9 to 5.
Hang yourself.

Submitted on 2007-10-21 21:26:57 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
"Black suit,
black noose---tie.
Black tie."

Haha I don't know if that's meant to be funny, but I sure got a kick out of it. Haha I'm still laughing. That's awesome.
Woo Okay... I'm good.

Now that I've pulled myself together... I shall proceed.

So these are the thoughts you have while you're at work? Yikes. That can't be healthy... but I certainly love reading them.

I want/need a job so f*cking badly, so I can't say I relate to this one, but I really like it nonetheless.
The way you describe things is fan-f*cking-tastic. You're a very creative individual.

I believe the last line is my favorite. Perfect ending. It made me laugh too, and brings it all together wonderfully. Maybe I'm just in a good mood this evening. Nah, that can't be it. Haha I don't know.

Sorry if this comment is... uh-oh. I pushed a button and some "favorites" thing popped up. Crap. How do I fix this? Maybe if I stop typing and actually TRY... haha. Hang on.

All right. I fixed it. Sorry about that.
Anyway, as I was saying, sorry that this comment is all over the place, but so is my mind... so it's the best I can do.

I just wanted to point out how much I enjoyed this.

Beautifully done
-nikkki
| Posted on 2007-10-22 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
i dont know... i think you can find yourself among corporate giants and remain true to yourself at the same time but what i usually find is that people who want to be among the corporate giants are greedy and care not about who they step on to get where they want to be.

i dont necessarily think that 9-5 is as crippling and deathly as you seem to have painted it here. perhaps its the way this piece seems so generalised. if this is about a particular person rather than a whole 'we' then maybe you should change it. because with the use of 'we' you make me feel like i should go hang myself [which is kinda ironic coz i havent been working at all this year due to injury.]

i think you could make this more impacting.
the presentation of the block of 9. to. 5. is good but the way it is presented makes it easy to blank it out because it is obvious what you are saying... perhaps by mashing it in with the body of the text too in ways that catch the reader off guard would cause the idea to be more stimulating?

keep working on it
let me know if you make any changes. id be keen to check them out.
| Posted on 2007-10-22 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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