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:A cluster of Sonnets Antimony, my delicate flower with smoke-darkened eyes, my heart has failed for you, never to beat for another. Yet though my thrumming love has quailed, each time I gaze into my goblet of wine I see you, my cunning Egyptian goddess, dancing to the sound of silver and lace, fine bronze skin rippling in warm numb finesse. And as the cool wine passes through my lips I taste your essence, rust and salty-sweet. Suddenly I taste the past as heaving grips throat and belly to purge my greed, deplete my mass and prepare me for the sorrow still passionately furrowing my brow. Hemlock, of you I write, of you I sing, I watched you hide within tranquil waters tempting wise men to heaven, they who bring you nothing but their novel thoughts which deter from the shut-in nothingness all minds share. In your apathy you steel their sense in mesh of judgments as you did mine without care. I grasp fire sacrificing my flesh in desperate hope you’ll bring my feeling back and release your hold upon my limbs to finally let me fall before your lilac skirts and let me feel the jagged stones you have flourished upon--while my words sharply fade as you kneel upon my chest, mourning quietly. Cyanide, your precious gifts of dulcet cherries, plums, peaches and gently blushing laurels, keep my reason your marionette. Your eyes, rotten pits, burn in my dreaming and sear my pupils while my conscious lies clear, Their beauty captivating my soft frail exhales and holding them before me, I fear even then I’ll live savoring your taste, an assail of bitter almonds, pungent as sulfur. Yet the anguish of my shattered ardor simply caresses my willingness to further comply with your insatiable lust for my cyan flesh gracious beneath your glass whip. Sorry but I must politely pass. |
You are most certainly a sonneteer of a very high rank! I love sonnets, and these are just fine, bitterly satric, but fine. I loved them. Like Oliver asked in the Dickens' novel: "more, more please!" loved 'em, loved 'em!.... michael| Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ] | These were really great. You're still dwelling in the dark, but I can't deny the beauty of these pieces. I had a problem with the flow in the last few lines of Hemlock and the last couple of lines of Cyanide. I don't really have any suggestions though. Again, I enjoyed the read. | Looking forward to a happy poem :) j/k be yourself, stay original. Nicely | Posted on 2007-10-25 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ] | and sear my pupils while my [conscious] lies clear, = conscience? | for my lovers which left me cold - antimony, hemlock. cyanide. this is very well concieved and i have to say that i didnt even notice i was reading sonnets [which is a good thing] usually the rhyme scheme of sonnets seems so forced that i just shudder lol. i never noticed your rhyming once. and whats more you knew what you were speaking of and didnt try to confuse the reader with unnecessary words that look pretty but serve no purpose. i like the way each sonnet is dedicated to one lover [and the way that the poison referred to could be a codename for someone bearing those traits] and yet all three of the sonnets together work together to make a bigger picture... this is stunning work here. | Posted on 2007-10-23 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ] | Hmmm I'm not sure thinking thinking of your past lovers as poisins is healthy but it is certainly natural especially if that is what they did to your spirit. This is a very smart write, beautiful in a most cynical way, i can definately apprecite it. | Bravissimo, Jay. | Posted on 2007-10-22 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ] | |