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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Will I Do With This Man Of Mine?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: charmedidentity
    ASL Info:    19/F/International
    Elite Ratio:    7.36 - 776/739/286
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 145
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1129



    Description:
       Just something i wrote after my b/f and i had an argument. He drives me crazy at times. I guess all relationships have that madness in them.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Will I Do With This Man Of Mine?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have my hair falling off each minute
    When he talks the golden age of nonsense
    And as much as I need to correct the meaning
    His understanding diminishes each minute.

    My heart races for the prized medal
    When I found the door of his head
    And as much as I want it wide open
    He forces me to jump the side window.
    I am in constant competition with him,
    He also race towards the prized medal.

    I have my calm face in a blazing fire
    And there are no extinguishers in sight,
    He pushes all the hazardous buttons,
    One of them will end in a disastrous fire.

    My imagination blows him in pieces
    As the dynamites explode with him
    And his guts fly like in a video game
    Before the ending says congratulations,
    But I cannot let me thoughts float wild,
    It will be my job to pick up his pieces.

    What will I do with this man of mine?
    Who has my thoughts like a time bomb
    And drives me to hate him with madness
    What will I do with this man of mine?




    Submitted on 2007-10-23 07:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There's a bit of abiding love in this piece although you are the more shining example.
    I found the piece a bit amusing . Perhaps a reflection of me,at times.
    I can imagine seeing the pots and pans chewing into the walls. It sounds like an amazing and never a dull moment sort of thing.
    As long as there is no violence and the sounds around are not too noisy or intentionally meant, it seems like a play I would like to see on stage. I, as a man, don't like long and drawn out periods of silence. To me when this is present, I think something is wrong or there's something to hide.
    Yeah, I liked this write. It shows compatability in the midst of incompatability. Bet that man wouldn't be traded for another.
    | Posted on 2007-11-15 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool. When I read the title I was thinking about how all the ways this was going to be really cheesy (I know shame on me for thinking you would do mediocre work) but I was nicely surprised so it kind of worked out in the end.

    I have my calm face in a blazing fire
    And there are no extinguishers in sight,
    He pushes all the hazardous buttons,
    One of them will end in a disastrous fire.

    Yea there are times when I am just sitting there as someone I know does something really dumb but inside I am screaming “you idiot if you would have looked around you would have seen a hundred reasons why that was a stupid idea.

    My imagination blows him in pieces
    As the dynamites explode with him
    And his guts fly like in a video game
    Before the ending says congratulations,
    But I cannot let me thoughts float wild,
    It will be my job to pick up his pieces.

    ((I think you mean my thoughts up there in the line “But I cannot let me thoughts float wild)) Yea some times I think I would love to watch my supervisor explode but then I snap back to reality and think no because I would be the one who would have to clean it all up.

    ~SonAsylum aka Aaron
    | Posted on 2007-10-25 00:00:00 | by SonAsylum | [ Reply to This ]
      The title explained exactly what the poem was about, sometime it is nice to keep some of the poem’s content revealed, but this is just a matter of opinion.

    I like your structure, using the same words at the end of the first and last line in each stanza. It emphasise the fight going on, between, two people. I don’t like the caps on the first word in each line, or maybe I just fail to see the purpose.

    I liked it then you said “He also race towards the prized medal.”
    I think you realize he is not the only guilty person, it takes two to tango.

    In every relationship there will be hard times, it’s your responsibility to keep working on it and to try and understand you and your partner’s needs.

    I think a lot of people can relate to your poem.
    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      I hate arguments. They make people want to kill each other.

    I'm guessing the "prized medal" thing means the winner of the argument. But really, who wins in an argument?

    I like the second last stanza. Made me think of the old Looney Toons cartoons. I can just see the coyote falling off the cliff now...

    "What will I do with this man of mine?" --> why don'tyou buy him chocolate? Yay chocolate!

    Good poem, charmy.

    Keep up the good writing!
    | Posted on 2007-10-23 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]



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