Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How do you kill yourselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 934
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 998



    Description:
       I wrote the bottom one a long time ago and ppl like it but i don't so i reviesed it a lil...so yeah


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow do you kill yourselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What do you do when you want to commit suicide?
    Grab the knife
    Don't cry; your life has fallen in to a black bliss.
    Slit your wrist; show no remorse
    Clinch your fist; force yourself for a quicker happiness.
    Relax in the bath tub; listen to your funeral music.
    Make sure you have no regrets,
    Because, tomorrow you’re not waking up
    This is what you do when you want to commit suicide.


    ------------------------------------------------------------

    What do you do when you want to die?
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    you clinch your fist and let your blood run down to your wrist.
    You slit your wrist very deep multiple times.
    You hide in the bath tub and let the blood run down your wrist and then the blood goes down the drain.
    Make sure you have no regrets
    because tomorrow you might not wake up.
    This is what you do when you want to die.




    Submitted on 2007-10-23 17:14:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It was an interesting topic but i think the writing fell a little flat. i mean, it just didnt really captivate me. Suicide is a monumental thing to the person doing it because it the END. So i just think itd be a little more impressive than "blahh....suicide...its all the same...."
    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry
    But I think any piece about this subject is just plain STUPID. I cannot comment on the style because the subject is too wrong.

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting though I like the top version better than the bottom, it jus seemed to have a better flow to it all together. This piece is a good mental visual. Good piece, keep writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting and direct. The repitition with the slight variation and giving more info was well done. The title caught my eye and the read was the worth the time to check it out.
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2007-10-23 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151560

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fasade written by jackz
    Love written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Carry written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shi written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Every..... written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry