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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How do you kill yourselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 998



    Description:
       I wrote the bottom one a long time ago and ppl like it but i don't so i reviesed it a lil...so yeah


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow do you kill yourselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What do you do when you want to commit suicide?
    Grab the knife
    Don't cry; your life has fallen in to a black bliss.
    Slit your wrist; show no remorse
    Clinch your fist; force yourself for a quicker happiness.
    Relax in the bath tub; listen to your funeral music.
    Make sure you have no regrets,
    Because, tomorrow youre not waking up
    This is what you do when you want to commit suicide.


    ------------------------------------------------------------

    What do you do when you want to die?
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    you clinch your fist and let your blood run down to your wrist.
    You slit your wrist very deep multiple times.
    You hide in the bath tub and let the blood run down your wrist and then the blood goes down the drain.
    Make sure you have no regrets
    because tomorrow you might not wake up.
    This is what you do when you want to die.




    Submitted on 2007-10-23 17:14:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was an interesting topic but i think the writing fell a little flat. i mean, it just didnt really captivate me. Suicide is a monumental thing to the person doing it because it the END. So i just think itd be a little more impressive than "blahh....suicide...its all the same...."
    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry
    But I think any piece about this subject is just plain STUPID. I cannot comment on the style because the subject is too wrong.

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting though I like the top version better than the bottom, it jus seemed to have a better flow to it all together. This piece is a good mental visual. Good piece, keep writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-10-24 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting and direct. The repitition with the slight variation and giving more info was well done. The title caught my eye and the read was the worth the time to check it out.
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2007-10-23 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


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