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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Last Night on Earthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyChaos
    ASL Info:    19/F/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 718/606/95
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1124
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1325



    Description:
       'It's a marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in the skies....a fantabulous night to make romance, neath the cover of October skies...'


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLast Night on Earthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I just wanna dance
    Is it too much to ask?
    Too old for this
    Too young for everything else
    But this music is alive in my blood
    If that's nonsensical, then i dont care
    Because there's something different

    Here

    Here, where you can feel my heart against your palm
    Here, where neath the wave its just so calm
    And the blue of my oblivion
    Is my haven from your logic

    Because I just wanna dance
    In the moonlight, or in the rain
    When it rains moonlight
    Or moonlights rain
    In snow and sleet
    And heaven's pain
    Where blue and black
    Can meet again
    When whispered screams
    Are changing things
    When the poorest pauper
    comes as king

    And I stand before you
    Doused in mud
    And soaked in bleach
    I came as I was
    As you wanted me
    To be

    And as you see
    These random rhymes
    And broken lines
    Are a part of my melody
    So Let me sing
    And Let me bring
    my song
    Into you
    So you can dance
    And I can dance
    And we can dance
    Like it's our last night on earth.
    'Cause one night
    We'll be right




    Submitted on 2004-06-23 01:23:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Merry Meet Lady. I enjoyed the poem. It took twists and turns. But the last stanza really brought it together. Which in my opinion takes alot of talent. Everytime I read a poem of yours my admiration for you as an author grows. Keep it up. Blessed Be Andrea.
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, i use the word fantabulous all the time...so nice to know that someone else does too...

    i can't pick out just one line...every stanza seems to be a poem in itself, yet it's all so harmonious in the way it's strung together.

    i've definitely gotta get this on into my favs so i can read it again sometime...it's a reflective write...
    | Posted on 2004-06-23 00:00:00 | by EmeraldJealousy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem right here. It expressed its message well. There were some inconsistencies in captilization and the end sorta petered out, but the beginning was priceless. However I disagree with the overall message - at least part of the time. People seek such oblivion from the real when they would prefer to escape, hence they are sheltered from logic. The only good time to escape reality is when there is nothing you really need to escape, thus making it a journey.
    shard
    | Posted on 2004-06-23 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love the lines
    'I came as I was
    As you wanted me
    To be'
    nice twist on Nirvana's 'Come as you are'. my other favourite part was
    'When it rains moonlight
    Or moonlights rain'.
    it's a great poem with beautiful images. the flow was really good. nothing to criticize here. very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-06-23 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


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