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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: do it, you can't!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie smith
    ASL Info:    20/f
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 75/61/24
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1220



    Description:
       <3
    i love HIM!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdo it, you can't!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    he loads the gun
    and hides it under his coat

    beat
    beat
    beat

    he dresses in black
    and sneaks around corners

    beat
    beat
    beat

    he finds the target
    and quickly hides

    beat
    beat
    beat

    the target knows hes there
    and he doesnt move

    beat
    beat
    beat

    he pulls out the gun
    and aims

    beat
    beat
    beat

    his aim is true
    and the bullet meets flesh

    beat
    beat
    beat

    the blood flows over the snow
    and the crimson is like neon against the snow

    beat
    beat
    beat

    but the target doesnt fall
    and shows no pain

    beat
    beat
    beat

    the heart keeps beating
    and it will forever

    beat
    beat
    beat

    for no one can kill God
    and no one can hide from Him

    beat
    beat
    beat

    He is
    and His heart beat goes on

    beat
    beat
    beating.....




    Submitted on 2007-10-25 15:29:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Haha, another one towards god. Its good, I actually thought this was going to be a poem where somebody dies or something tragic, but no, theres a happy ending, hehe. I liked it. Shadow
    | Posted on 2007-10-28 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent Job with this one Annie
    And I must say it is Great to have you back Posting in our community
    It is so true NOONE can ever destroy God
    What I really like about thgis poem is how you showed God does live in the Heart of us all and even in death that cannot be destroyed
    Excellent Job!!!
    I look forward to reading more new writes from you in the future
    God Bless
    Ron
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    January 10 07
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