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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sound (Mostly, Always, Without a Doubt)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 219
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1645



    Description:
       So it's a love song. But not how you think. Completely un-sappy love. Completely life-saving love. :) [sorry the spacing is weird.]


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSound (Mostly, Always, Without a Doubt)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wake up in the middle
    Sleeping, breaking, failing one
    It's just the night-sounds speaking
    Just ripping, tearing, plans undone

    Wake up in the middle
    of the sound of how it starts
    Knowing, seeing, hearing once
    It bangs the door of your heart

    Ask yourself, are you afraid?
    Afraid to smile, afraid to feel
    Mostly, always, without a doubt
    afraid this thing can't be real
    Afraid in love you're not awake
    Afraid love is what life breaks


    Wake up in the middle
    Girl, sister, daughter, friend
    Sounds of trying to stop trying
    breaking silence, making ends

    Ask yourself, are you afraid?
    Afraid to smile, afraid to feel
    Mostly, always, without a doubt
    afraid this thing can't be real
    Afraid in love you're not awake
    Afraid love is what life breaks


    Wake up in the middle
    Fighting, giving-up, alone
    Sounds of fists, sounds of fear
    The sound of on-your-own

    Wake up in the middle
    of finding your greatest defense
    This is the sound of falling fast
    The sound of not seeing ground since

    Tell yourself, don't be afraid
    Afraid to smile, afraid to feel
    Mostly, always, without a doubt
    afraid this thing can't be real
    Afraid in love, you're not awake
    Afraid in life is what love breaks




    Submitted on 2007-10-28 02:11:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      The spacing's fine and the structures amazing. I love how the chorus changes at the end, always love that in songs, makes the chorus mean something more than just a repeated chant.
    No criticism just awe.
    Josh
    | Posted on 2007-10-28 00:00:00 | by MC white | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really good. it's like about a person's insecurities. i guess it's something that we can all relate to 'cos we all have our doubts in life.
    keep up the good work.
    check out some of my stuffs too. =]
    | Posted on 2007-10-28 00:00:00 | by asian blonde | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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