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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Red Valleydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: UnderINK
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 114/53/25
    Words: 322
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 229
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2037



    Description:
       This is just a somewhat quick, almost philosophical poem I wrote a long time ago that I found.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRed Valleydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Last night, in my sleep, came a being
    With white wings and emerald eyes.
    I followed him near, with nothing to fear
    For an angel would not let me die.
    Like a god he stepped across mountains,
    Like a ghost, could not be caught.
    Over oceans and streams, we drifted through dreams
    For I knew that he couldn't be fought.

    He took me to a lucious red valley
    Whose grass was scarlet and gold.
    And no one was there
    With any breath to spare--
    It was heaven as I'd ever been told.
    He said, "You can stay here forever
    And call it your own, this place."
    Then he showed me the flowers
    That talked on for hours
    And the creeks that wove around us like lace.

    I glanced to the sky with some hope
    And saw a warm face stricken with tears.
    It was faded and shamed
    Like an angel unnamed;
    More beautiful than the one I had here.
    I was saddened, and looked at the being,
    Who pointed to the singing of trees.
    "I'm sorry, my friend,
    This must come to an end.
    There is someone waiting out there for me."

    He asked me, "How do you choose flesh and pain
    Over this paradise I made just for you?"
    I said: "Water can't understand
    The suffering of land.
    You'd go, too, if only you knew."
    He smiled softly and told me to go,
    "But all of this you shall forget:
    The apples and bees,
    The Melody Trees,
    And that we have before ever met."

    And in an instant all of it shimmered,
    Sunk and drowned in my head.
    I woke up on the floor by the crack of the door,
    With a book by my feet left unread.
    But I didn't forget the Red Valley,
    Like the angel had told me I would.
    I'll always remember
    That night in December
    Because it did me so much good.




    Submitted on 2007-10-28 22:15:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this poem. It just tells such a beautiful story. I'm kind of just amazed at the talent it took to write something like that. Even though you said that you had found it, and written it a couple of years back. I only hope that I could write something like that in the future...
    | Posted on 2007-12-30 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this.
    when i saw that you had written it a coupla years back i cringed because the last week i have read a lot of pieces that have been prefaced with such warnings.

    but this was well done and i am glad to have read it.
    your rhyme scheme was not only flawless but it really did add to the effect of the piece.

    your imagery is good and well placed [and i especially loved the idea that water cannot understand the suffering of land... the idea that one cannot know anothers pain even if theyve been through the same situation...]

    i would imagining remembering red valley is a good thing because it inspires hope of things to come...
    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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