Falling Back by Suven7

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Submission Name: Falling Back dots

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Author:	Suven7
ASL Info:	18 female Fla
Elite Ratio:	7.1 - 477/259/47
Words:	126

Class/Type:	Random Thoughts/Nostalgia
Total Views:	153
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	750

Description:
October 25, 2007. En route to school.

Falling Back dots

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I have a hard time
Gripping this umbrella handle.
The shape is so impractical -
Only coming to use if you had a
Ready arm to hook it on.

But neither my arms are ready
To hook with anything.

Perhaps it's the texture, too.
The Chinese trademark is just too smooth -
It makes it slippery that way
And I'm not ready to slip at all.
Or just yet.

If it weren't for this rain
I wouldn't keep this thing, you know.
But everyday it rains
And everyday I am tempted
To fall back and
Let you catch up with me.

It is pouring down rain and
You did loan me this umbrella.

Submitted on 2007-10-29 12:51:28 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  AHHHH!!! What is this outpouring (get it? Pouring? hee hee ok lame) of poetry, Suven? Whatever prompted this, I am very thankful to it.

I'm going to give analyzing this poem a shot. To me, the umbrella seems like love. (Of course, I had to pick love, when really it could be friendship or grilled cheese sandwiches). The shape of the umbrella is not practical, like many forms of love, perhaps. Your arms symbolize your emotions, and they may not be quite ready for this odd, impractical love that might make you 'slip'; so is it worth the risk? Anyways, the rain (life) does not allow you to give up the umbrella (love). And why not indulge? The umbrella's been loaned to you and you need love; why not.

Haha, I could be completely wrong of course but this is how I interpreted it. I am adding this to my favorites. You make me jealous. :-*

-Lucy
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  dood, I'm in like 3rd period right now and we're researching our Mock Trial thing and since I'm an over achiever, I did it yesterday and now I'm here pretty bored.

So I read all the comments on this one and it looks like they see deeper than I do becasue to tell you the truth, I thought it wasnt' your style at all. YOu're usually using deep, profound words that has meaning on the side, but this one was simple and it kinda sounds like another girl who has no problems in the world. I really like end, wen you said the umbrella was barrowed cuz it reminded me of the Ipod that you barrowed from Andy.

SO I think I just got it,. The Poem means that you're going through hardships and you want to let go but you're still hanging on but this umbrella you're holding just doesn't seem right. The whole umbrella being slippery means that even though there is something taht can protect you from the rain, that thing won't really be as comfortable or as good as if you were in the sun. That or I'm just looking at this umbrella thing too closely.

the end is good, simple but it leaves me with wonders, like you always do..A good thing.

Keep it up and please write something more happy.

--Fearless
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
  i tried to comment on this before but i was out of time so i had to find it so i could tell you how much i adore this piece.

i love the progression of this piece. you start off about the umbrella but by the time the reader gets to the end it is very clear to them that this piece is about a lot more than an umbrella.

you have put it together well with the slipery/i dont want to slip idea and the hooking of arms which change meaning by the end of the piece when realising that it isnt about the umbrella but rather the owner of the umbrella.

the narrative voice is interesting.
its more trying to convince itself [though trying to pretend its the reader/umbrella owner that needs convincing] that they could get rid of the umbrella if they wanted... i could move on if i wanted...
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the simplistic story in play here. However, I can't seem to grasp what the hidden, more metaphorical or symbolic meaning is. I'm sad I know. Haha. I feel as if the lines:
To fall back and
Let you catch up with me.
And:
And I'm not ready to slip at all.
are trying to speak to me, I just don't understand what they are saying. Rain usually symbolizes hardship, but you make it the uniting force in this poem. For some odd reason I feel a sense of competition hidden...I'm not really sure why. See how lame I am? Haha. Perhaps competition with those close to you and you're keeping them around for the hardship you're enduring...
I still really like this poem even if its seemingly awesome meaning remains cryptic to me. I think it's the rain and the odd mention of an umbrella of all things.

Be productive, Love you. And
| Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the narrative behind this poem. I also like the evolution it takes-- it starts out simply describing your umbrella (I liked the word choices, but I admit I have no idea what you mean by "chinese trademark"...) and later turns into a cute, succinct love story. this poem is very endearing because it seems so honest. good job!
| Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by Kristen Gudsnuk | [ Reply to This ]

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