Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rainy Day Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Spin
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 51/66/54
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRainy Day Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mesmerized
    Hypmotized
    Distorted landscape
    as rain paints
    my window
    I dream
    of seamless stockings
    silk and sandy
    lead to high thigh
    and dissappear under
    umbrella skies
    5 fingers slide
    to crease and glide
    soft against your most
    sensitive skin
    We begin the sin
    10 thumbs
    please you as one
    fill your lungs
    let it out
    with pouts and shouts
    bitten lips
    and sunkin ships
    a treasures found
    in the simple sounds
    of rain against my
    window paine.







    Submitted on 2007-10-29 15:59:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ok i am fine with the poem except i do not know if these are right
    1.paine.
    2. high thigh

    The best part is
    "Distorted landscape
    as rain paints
    my window"
    beautifully put.

    the problem is also in the topic
    "Rainy Day You" YOu?

    one more thing
    Put some description. maybe if you described i can get why the topi is for.
    | Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151848



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry