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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: slay the dragon.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freeradical
    ASL Info:    22/feline/london
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311/405/63
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1174
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1402



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsslay the dragon.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The roses lie, withered.

    Petals falling,
    drifting capriciously through
    air once filled with lark song
    to land
    heavy as granite
    and just as cold-

    the reverberation experienced in feeling.

    e
    cummings wrote once,
    of a leaf.

    (I suspect he did not want to be the one
    to kill the flower.)

    It is always more tragic,
    when something beautiful is at stake.

    Of course,
    that is why the hero always falls in love.
    Forget bravery,
    men have been doing stupid things
    since the beginning of sex
    in the name of valour.

    So men, put away your swords,
    your armour.
    (Your incessant need to be hero-worshipped.)
    One needs those only when confronting dragons.
    Mythical though they be.

    The easiest way to accomplish the task
    is subservience.

    Buy her a dishwasher,
    tell her she looks pretty only
    when caked in kohl and lipstick.
    Expect dinner on the table by five,
    and a bun in the oven
    to go along with those
    on the table.

    poets are romantic fools,
    and i will not count myself among them.
    The garden is dead and not worth saving.
    Ophelia was the last to care,
    it seems.




    Submitted on 2007-10-29 16:25:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      ophelia was the last to care it seems

    seriously! you are brilliant
    it would seem no one has cared for a very long time then...

    your imagery is very well thought out and there is so much wit in this piece i just have no idea how to break it down and show my appreciation.

    i like the buy her a dishwasher and tell her she looks pretty when shes all made up but no other time. the bun in the oven to go with the ones on the table stanza... very well done and good play on well known phrases

    im not sure why... it must be some kind of programming thing on this page but ee cummings didnt work so well and rather it caused the rest of your words to shrink...

    poets are romantics and the killer of roses... who would want to be a poet?
    | Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I'm blown away by both the simplicity and complexity of this piece.

    "It is always more tragic,
    when something beautiful is at stake."

    I like how you confront the good 'ol damsel in distress/knight in shining armour situation. You show us, the readers, that that is the hard way to get a woman to love a man.

    "Buy her a dishwasher,
    tell her she looks pretty only
    when caked in kohl and lipstick."

    Wow, I never knew it was that easy! Thanks for the advice!

    "a bun in the oven"

    I find that a really funny way to say that a woman is pregnant. It makes sense, but it still sounds silly, almost dumb. But I like that you used it in addition to dinner.

    "poets are romantic fools,
    and i will not count myself among them.
    The garden is dead and not worth saving.
    Ophelia was the last to care,
    it seems."

    This last stanza is my favourite one. Too bad Ophelia went nuts and drowned. She was the only gardener that we had!

    I like how modest/humble you are by not counting yourself among the poets. Very humble of you.

    Wonderful piece!

    | Posted on 2007-10-29 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]


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    151850

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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