Lover's Reverie by tennisfuzz

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Submission Name: Lover's Reverie dots

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Author:	tennisfuzz
ASL Info:	18/F/here.
Elite Ratio:	5.92 - 78/91/35
Words:	61

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	195
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	423

Description:
Not my best... but wanted to be written

Lover's Reverie dots

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My worldly Heaven
My dearest Nirvana
Whisper into my ear, won’t you please
You are my second skin, a mate for my soul

My succulent Nectar
My exquisite Truffle
Let me taste, feel, your lips
Your soft breath drowns my senses

My valiant Leo
My everlasting Luna
Sooth me with your musings
You have captured my ardent adoration

Submitted on 2007-10-29 21:15:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Haha, I havn't read your stuff in awhile, so I'm doing some catching up.

Sorry i've been so absent lately, I've been dealing with some heavy stuff, and it's been taking up a lot of my time...

ANYWAY, on to your peice. I thought it was beautiful, but far too short lived for my taste.

I like the feeling, but I feel as if it were a fleeting moment, but the words give me otherwise...

I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking because it's 1 in the morning and I can't sleep, but I want to hear more...

Wishing for more
~Brian
| Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty cool and sweet. There are many good phrasings of feelings that we all have at some point for someone. The format allows smooth reading, but some editing/adding to the work could make it have more of an impact. Just a thought. Nice write.

Mykquillion
| Posted on 2007-11-15 00:00:00 | by Mykquillion | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, I like this. It's just...nice. Written vibrantly enough not to be cliché, run of the mill love poetry, but it seems to make use of the classic sense of delirious love for a girl who is angelic in her lovers eyes....

I don't have a favorite stanza, really. I like every one. To be honest, it would go very well on a Valentine's Day card...but that's not always a bad thing.

Jen
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

151861

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