Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Promise me dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 999
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 595



    Description:
       this is something it threw together i know there is spelling mistakes let me know how u feel about it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPromise me dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Promise me

    her skin is soft
    her hair smells sweet
    she looks at you
    with worried eyes
    her lips begin to quiver
    and her hands begin to shake
    she reaches out
    and takes your hand
    she looks at you
    tears running down her face
    she pulls you in
    her lips touch yours
    her kiss is soft
    deep and passionate
    an then
    she lets you go
    and slowely whispers
    "put your arms around me,
    never let go.
    Promise me
    we wont fall apart"




    Submitted on 2007-10-30 02:44:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is really nice and sweet, I enjoyed it thoroughly, Nice write
    | Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it all tge way to the end. The last line just threw it all out there. I think you should add more or fix the line. Other than that, it was awesome. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151872

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Promise written by annie0888
    untitled written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry