[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots

    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 839
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 322

       To a friend. I don't think it is finished yet...but I'm not sure.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Darkening bruise
    and bloody tears,
    No way out and
    choking on fears.

    With each new slap
    another hope fades
    With each cutting word
    a choice is weighed.

    What do you see?
    Why do you stay?
    Why don't you choose
    to just walk away?

    Submitted on 2007-10-30 12:47:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well first the poem is written very well, but it doesnt sound finished the last stanza seems to be left hanging out there. but other then that its well written especailly when one thinks of the subject matter. I hope who ever your talking about, knows that even though its going to be hard to get away that if she wants to theres people that can help her. I mean no one should have to be trapped in any situation, but I guess from expirence one should always know its going to take alot of time and rushing can make matters worse. I hope things work out I really do. Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      like ive said before its sounds bad. in both of the pieces ive read it is from the point of you looking at another person. maybe it isnt you and it is someone you care about like a really good friend. but whoever should try to leave. it sounds bad. i know its hard to start over but moving on is better
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]