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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 886
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 322



    Description:
       To a friend. I don't think it is finished yet...but I'm not sure.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrappeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkening bruise
    and bloody tears,
    No way out and
    choking on fears.

    With each new slap
    another hope fades
    With each cutting word
    a choice is weighed.

    What do you see?
    Why do you stay?
    Why don't you choose
    to just walk away?




    Submitted on 2007-10-30 12:47:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well first the poem is written very well, but it doesnt sound finished the last stanza seems to be left hanging out there. but other then that its well written especailly when one thinks of the subject matter. I hope who ever your talking about, knows that even though its going to be hard to get away that if she wants to theres people that can help her. I mean no one should have to be trapped in any situation, but I guess from expirence one should always know its going to take alot of time and rushing can make matters worse. I hope things work out I really do. Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      like ive said before its sounds bad. in both of the pieces ive read it is from the point of you looking at another person. maybe it isnt you and it is someone you care about like a really good friend. but whoever should try to leave. it sounds bad. i know its hard to start over but moving on is better
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


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