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Ear Spanking


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 144
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 943
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 967



Description:


Yah...um...don't ask.


Ear Spanking



Fancy knowing
That he thinks you’re cruel.

What perversion of the truth!
When all you’ve been is
Sweet
And all you’ve said
Was honey.

You haven’t even seen each other
For a month

Or two.

The thought just irks me.
And, like the over-bitten
Inside hollows of my cheek,
I continue to nibble
On what is left of our
Two-minute conversation
And fume…

…And perhaps bask in the
Afterglow. See how he thinks
Of you?
O’ what of his cruel assessment
When his tongue was merely tied
And could barely
Coat the word ‘beautiful’ from his
Harsh goodbye.
O’ what of the fact that the word
Was left out altogether?
…………….Oh.
Well, go on.
Call him back. And
Give him an ear spanking.




Submitted on 2007-10-30 20:58:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by GuessWho | [ Reply to This ]
  We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by GuessWho | [ Reply to This ]
  Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by GuessWho | [ Reply to This ]
  I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by GuessWho | [ Reply to This ]
  We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by GuessWho | [ Reply to This ]
  I'll have to agree with Venia on the splitting of the words. It was a bit distracting on a few, loosing intensity you built up.

This was very well written and awesomely worded! It made me laugh a bit. Yes. Men do deserve their ear spankings....often.

<3 Awesome write!
| Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
  Yeah, I deserve an ear spanking every now and then, but my girlfriend prefers to pretend to ignore me. Or she tickles me. This was pretty funny and the title kinda catches your eye. Over all I enjoyed it, I do think you said O too much at the end. It was very well written and I enjoyed reading it. It catches the sweetness of relationships and is basically an excuse to call him back.

Magic Dragon.
| Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Magic Dragon | [ Reply to This ]
  Haha. Um. I'm sorry if it was me! (Once again trying to find that I'm in the poem). Analytically speaking, it has a very unique style about it. I'm not really sure the correlation between the first lines and the middle lines...it seems you have too different trains of thought. As with Lucy, I like the "nibbling" addition and the phrasing of the fifth stanza. It's just well worded? I'm lame...hahaha. I hear your voice most in the line "What perversion of the truth!" Haha. I can imagine you saying it nearly perfectly coupled with a kind shove :)

I really like these short poems you've begun to write with more regularity. Love you!

Andy
| Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hee hee.

I can totally hear your voice in this one. It's nice to read something you've written that has 'you' written all over it... ;-) & I really adore the way you described what's going on here.

this part caught my attention the most:
"The thought just irks me.
And, like the over-bitten
Inside hollows of my cheek,
I continue to nibble
On what is left of our
Two-minute conversation
And fume…"

I bite the insides of my cheeks ALL the time. and the last part? Brilliant.

Ahhh! I really like this Suven!!!

-Lucy
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  hm. amusing. In the immortal words of my mother

"Men are pigs"

and the majority of them deserve ear spankings, certainly.

Overall I really liked this. It was forceful and made a clear point, and the ending made me smile. The only thing I didn't like was the way you split up your lines. Some of them are good, but some of them felt sort of choppy to me. Otherwise this was really nice.

keep writing
~Venia
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]


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