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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Illusion in the Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: black_beauty18
    ASL Info:    25/Female/Hutchinson, KS
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 153/146/46
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 618
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 812



    Description:
       I don't know... Long distance relationships suck, but this is how I cope.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Illusion in the Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Last night while I slept, you came to me,
    Before I could speak you were by my side.
    All of my prayers had finally come to be,
    The joy overwhelmed me and I began to cry.
    I touched your face as lips met eager lips,
    My mind finally embraced my sight.
    No longer plagued by the night's brutal tricks,
    Together our bodies devoured love's endless heights.
    Your fingers laced in mine as passion fueled your kiss,
    My soul drank all of you in.
    I imagined being able to spend forever like this,
    As quickly as it began, it came to an end.
    My eyes fluttered open, and yet you were gone,
    Moments ago, you seemed so real.
    New tears of sorrow streamed heavy and strong,
    With no one to fill the lonely void I feel.




    Submitted on 2007-10-30 22:42:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks so much for your comments on all my poems! I'm very flattered that you enjoyed them all, and I'm glad that my suggestion to change "darker" to "darkness" worked out for you! Take care, and I hope to read more from you soon!
    ~Melissa~
    | Posted on 2007-12-31 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]
      You were right! I did liked thos poem a lot!
    It was a very moving poem, filled with depth, emotion and hope.
    I liked the unexpected ending. I enjoy drems in poems.
    Long distance relationships are hard, but if you both love each other enough they can last and when you are finally together there'll be fireworks
    | Posted on 2007-12-30 00:00:00 | by rachel gless | [ Reply to This ]
      Filled with emotion and sadness. Great poem!
    Thanks for sharing.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-25 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyming in this is well done - not forced and subtle. The expression/emotions conveyed were well done, well written and very clear.

    I particularly liked the way you worked this into a dream. It moves as if one is in the dream - not an easy task. Very well done,
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


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