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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Like Poetrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 704
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1033



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Like Poetrydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love like poetry,
    Something so special,
    Where I could be the tea,
    You could be the kettle,
    We could heat it up or cool it down,
    Maybe we should settle,
    On a burner, make it hot so,
    I can heat the metal,
    So warm so good,
    You should know how it feels,
    But I can only heat the steel,
    If you let me know itís real,
    It takes one time,
    Putting down on a verse,
    I think it canít get any worse,
    Cause Iím making you my first, lady,
    Whatís good? Whatís real?
    Where you been at?
    All My life? Yeah..
    I think I could spin that,
    Hey, look,
    What you doing at eight?
    Have you Ate?
    We can stay up past late,
    I can pick you up,
    Or we can walk together,
    My cards are all face up,
    Itís either All or never,
    Should you accept,
    You can have my heart forever,
    Cause youíd have found what I thought,
    I had lost forever,
    Love




    Submitted on 2007-10-31 08:07:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. I think it sounds like a rap song or something. And I like that you showed a sense of humor in it, with silly words and phrases like, "We can stay up past late", and "Have you ATE?" lol.
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by amrslamr | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the begining with the analogy
    that lasted for a few lines. about the kettle and tea.

    the rest sorta distracted from it.
    it was a lot rhym-ey

    ~karie
    | Posted on 2007-10-31 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151940

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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