I revisit the past from time to time.
I'm told its healthy to do.
Walking the streets I used to toddle down.
Let the memories come through.
I sit down with those buddies of mine
but the situation's never new.
Theyre just as stuck as me it seems.
Theres just nothin left to do.
Some times I want a cleaned off slate
Like those fresh, first days of school
But the past piles up as we get older.
Fresh starts are harder to pull.
And on life trudges, weary and worn
at much too young an age.
Feels as if, in my existence's book
I cant turn to the next page
I'm waiting for a catastrophe,
though Id take a miracle too.
Something big, someone to love
a new path for me to choose.
'Cuz Ive walked down all the other ones
they're not worth the second trip.
"a waste of time's" an understatement
the past can't tell me shit.
It reminds me of my greatest faults
the ones Ive worked to tame.
the ones that feel like they're still right here.
like they're written on my brain.
The ten commandments of Josh are thus
that thou shalt take thy life
and with it do the worst you can
and restart once or twice.
Thou shalt ruin relationships
thou shalt always feel behind
thou shalt practice hypocrisy
thou shalt barely control thy mind
Worship the God's of alcohol
Breathe deep the smoke of herbs
care not for the lives of other men
thou shalt never learn.
And last, the final blow it seems,
that I, my god, decree.
Thou shalt know not in the least
what you can ever truely be.