Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This One Last Timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadow24968
    ASL Info:    16 Male
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 69/72/34
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1135



    Description:
       Latest sh*t


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis One Last Timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Is it so hard to bear the truth
    On our sacred hearts.
    My darling can't you see
    Our endless crimes to love.
    The heated flames we burn in
    Saving our souls from pain
    But at least we could do
    Is try
    For this one last time

    -Chorus-
    The least we could do is try
    Try to mend our hearts
    These sacred lies
    And pretend that all hope is lost
    To taste your lips
    This one last time
    Our heavenly flames
    Scorching our blood
    And do you still care?
    If we give it one last try
    This one last time

    Is it so hard to believe
    I could change the times
    Our hearts would collide
    In this sweet suicide
    My darling won't you cry
    For one chance to be in heaven
    To guide our lives
    And change all lust to lost
    For this one last time

    -chorus-

    -middle 8-

    -chorus-


    But at least we could try
    For this one last time
    Before we die
    But it will be alright.




    Submitted on 2007-11-01 13:27:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      One Last Time.... All you need is one more try... just another try. And them BOMB its dones its happend... All you've longed for... all you've waited for ... you can try a hundred times and not until hundred and one does things go the way you've planned. This is very good. Although I'm stuck on this one and the last one I posted on I can't say which I like more...mmm nevertheless I do like a lot. Again this was very easy to picture in mind. Although I hate to say this but at first it seemed very much "alike" the previouse one. Nothing wrong with that but it just seemed tooo much alike. I began to think I was on the same page as before but soon relized I was not. But as I started reading more and more I saw and enjoyed the difference between the two... Once again Great job and keep up the writes I love them ALL

    ~!*Jackz*!~
    | Posted on 2007-11-07 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    151993

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The World written by jjd
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry