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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For The Sake Of Being Simpledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1133



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor The Sake Of Being Simpledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iím under you,
    Face up on a stone block,
    Regret fills my eyes,
    Liquid crystalline, doubt and hurt,
    Shadow my cries.

    But Iím alone with.
    My black hoody on, itís cold,
    The shiver feels nice,
    And if only you could see me now,
    As my tears turn to ice

    For The Sake of Being Simple,
    I donít think that I have to tell you,
    For The Sake of Being Simple,
    Forever I would have held you,

    All the Ice,
    In my head melts slowly
    Seeps out of my eyes,
    Where in the cold I lay,
    Turns them to ice

    Now all of the
    Sweet memories of you are like,
    Silk to Paper of Sand,
    And these tears are over you,
    Because I never am,

    For The Sake of Being Simple,
    I want you and your warmth to hold
    For The Sake of Being Simple,
    Without your warm, I prefer the cold,

    Iím under you
    Face up, staring at the sky.
    Cause gravity holds my hand
    And these tears are over you,
    Because I never am,




    Submitted on 2007-11-01 13:42:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this piece...i especially enjoyed the metaphor "And if only you could see me now,
    As my tears turn to ice" and how you extended it later on in the poem with "All the Ice,
    In my head melts slowly
    Seeps out of my eyes"...that part was my favorite. This poem definately paints a picture and leaves me wishing things would get better for you if this is written about circumstances in your life.
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of this.

    Iím under you
    Face up, staring at the sky.
    Cause gravity holds my hand
    And these tears are over you,
    Because I never am,

    being one of my favorite lines.

    the only problems I saw were obvious puncuation errors. comma's for periods and capital letters on words non-important randomly in sentences.

    keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Cannablisjunkie | [ Reply to This ]


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