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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: But Even the Brave Ones Are Not So Bravedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flowerinbloom
    ASL Info:    22/M/Earth (I think)
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 700/559/123
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 940



    Description:
       Just remembering something past. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBut Even the Brave Ones Are Not So Bravedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I walk to you
    with my heart in my throat,
    a rose with no petals
    open, raw.
    You look at me
    and smile,
    I smile too
    as I put my heart in my hand
    ready to give it to you,
    willing, hoping.

    Your friends join you
    and your walls are up,
    my confidence falls
    as you don your mask.
    I stand in front of you,
    words on my tongue
    but they are cowards too
    and they cling to my tonsils.

    I choke.
    Your friends laugh,
    you laugh with them.
    "Fag" I hear them chiming.
    I can see the words forming on your tongue,
    yours are braver than mine.

    I walk from you
    with my heart by my feet,
    damaged, bruised.
    I wish I could say
    what sits on my tongue
    but even the brave ones are not so brave
    and we are all cowards at heart.




    Submitted on 2007-11-01 17:25:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes i think we live parallel lives. This is so sad even more so because I can totally relate. People suck sometimes.

    Correy
    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by AnotherNobody | [ Reply to This ]
      This actually managed to piss me off and make me want to cry... but that's good because it shows how talented you are. It takes a lot to make a reader feel something so strongly.

    God, if I had a nickel for every time I lost a f*cking lighter...

    Oh well. Anyway, those people all sound like a**holes.

    "I can see the words forming on your tongue,
    yours are braver than mine."

    That's so sad. It's not bravery though, but clearly, you know that. As you said, "we are all cowards at heart," and I like the way you showed it.

    "and they cling to my tonsils."

    Very original description. I love it.

    What else can I say? It's perfect.
    You're brilliant. At least terrible things inspire wonderful poetry. ;)


    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, I hate girls like the one this piece seems to be describing. Not being able to say the "right words" to her would be hard enough in this situation without having that kind of treatment to discourage you. I don't understand why some people seem to think that they are better than others and therefore treat others like they are inferior, but to be completely honest, it pisses me off whenever I see it. I don't like to see people treated like that. Anyway, as you can see, I have had far too much experience watching such things happening to my friends and, truthfully, having something similar happen to me a time or two.
    I really love this piece. My favorite line in it is "Even the brave ones are not so brave
    and we are all cowards at heart." It makes the poem relateable to everyone and it certainly drew me in. Everyone can relate in some way to having their hopes shot down by others, because those others either have stupid friends or are stupid themselves...anyway, this comment is dragging on. I liked this a lot. I'm done talking lol.
    emily
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]


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