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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sociopathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MC white
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71/73/45
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1122



    Description:
       Didnt start with a story, just the first line and its rhyme. Thats how most of mine begin.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSociopathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I shiver though I'm never cold
    Honestly I'm not.
    I act like I feel the same as you
    I like my coffee hot.

    The light your shining in my eyes
    reminds me of a time
    lying on the beach with dad
    while mom sank in the brine.

    They took that dad away from me
    and paraded many more
    I laughed at all their man-semantics
    playing catch is such a bore.

    I'd rather see their insides,
    the animals I snare,
    I like to know their limits,
    give them all that they can bear.

    And now you say I've done some wrong
    but you see its not the case
    For though I did end all their lives
    those people were a waste

    Loafers, sinners, burdens all
    their days were a waste of sun
    So I watched them till I knew I was right
    and snared them one by one.

    And now you lean into my face
    and shout that I'm a monster
    Its hard to agree when, just like you,
    Honestly I'm not, sir






    Submitted on 2007-11-02 00:45:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this. It was a very odd read, but, I like the way that, at the end, I get the feeling the man is on trial for the alluded to murders. I would consider myself a sociopath, generally. I like the way it feels really unique. First time I have ever seen sociopathy taken on in such a way.
    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I love this peom. I could see it the way he saw the world. The eyes of a Sociopath must have been hard to capture but you did it so beautifully. Very good write. ^-^
    | Posted on 2007-11-29 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. This is a good poem. I've attempted to write something like this when I wrote "Hide this poem underyourpillow" but it didn't end up like I wanted to. Anyways good write!
    | Posted on 2007-11-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      It's like you should be actor. You fully took the role of a person who twisted mentally. You are good, and you show diversity. You rhyme scheme was on point, flow and rhythm where flawless. The first bar reminded me of something I wrote, I was a love poem, cuz you know, that's mostly what I write. Here you are perfect, you were at your best on this. You are very convincing, like Ravenwolf said, You don't live in or near the DE, right. I mean those are the first to letters of DEATH. Oscar nominations seem fit. perfecto, my good dude.
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a part of me that says I should be alarmed and run for the hills. After all most serial killers stem from Ohio, just joking ~ sort of.

    However...this is actually very well written and right on for the title. It is actually quite "cute" the flow and rhyme sort of put a person in the role you took as the sociopath.

    Nicely written,
    Lisa

    ps: you didn't live anywhere near southeastern Ohio, do you?
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


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