Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sociopathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MC white
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71/73/45
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1122



    Description:
       Didnt start with a story, just the first line and its rhyme. Thats how most of mine begin.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSociopathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I shiver though I'm never cold
    Honestly I'm not.
    I act like I feel the same as you
    I like my coffee hot.

    The light your shining in my eyes
    reminds me of a time
    lying on the beach with dad
    while mom sank in the brine.

    They took that dad away from me
    and paraded many more
    I laughed at all their man-semantics
    playing catch is such a bore.

    I'd rather see their insides,
    the animals I snare,
    I like to know their limits,
    give them all that they can bear.

    And now you say I've done some wrong
    but you see its not the case
    For though I did end all their lives
    those people were a waste

    Loafers, sinners, burdens all
    their days were a waste of sun
    So I watched them till I knew I was right
    and snared them one by one.

    And now you lean into my face
    and shout that I'm a monster
    Its hard to agree when, just like you,
    Honestly I'm not, sir






    Submitted on 2007-11-02 00:45:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this. It was a very odd read, but, I like the way that, at the end, I get the feeling the man is on trial for the alluded to murders. I would consider myself a sociopath, generally. I like the way it feels really unique. First time I have ever seen sociopathy taken on in such a way.
    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I love this peom. I could see it the way he saw the world. The eyes of a Sociopath must have been hard to capture but you did it so beautifully. Very good write. ^-^
    | Posted on 2007-11-29 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. This is a good poem. I've attempted to write something like this when I wrote "Hide this poem underyourpillow" but it didn't end up like I wanted to. Anyways good write!
    | Posted on 2007-11-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      It's like you should be actor. You fully took the role of a person who twisted mentally. You are good, and you show diversity. You rhyme scheme was on point, flow and rhythm where flawless. The first bar reminded me of something I wrote, I was a love poem, cuz you know, that's mostly what I write. Here you are perfect, you were at your best on this. You are very convincing, like Ravenwolf said, You don't live in or near the DE, right. I mean those are the first to letters of DEATH. Oscar nominations seem fit. perfecto, my good dude.
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a part of me that says I should be alarmed and run for the hills. After all most serial killers stem from Ohio, just joking ~ sort of.

    However...this is actually very well written and right on for the title. It is actually quite "cute" the flow and rhyme sort of put a person in the role you took as the sociopath.

    Nicely written,
    Lisa

    ps: you didn't live anywhere near southeastern Ohio, do you?
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152030

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry