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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hometown Boy (revision)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    44/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    5.59 - 279/246/75
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 74
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHometown Boy (revision)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    There’s a guy in our town who showers Mondays under a waterhose

    in back of the local country club. His supper is half-eaten

    sandwiches and hardened fries scraped from China plates.

    Some days he gets a jelly doughnut with one or two bites gone;

    he’s never minded sharing.


    He dined with the mayor just last week on leftover sea bass and tiramisu.

    He thinks a lucky omen is to spot a partial birthday cake still in its box

    happy birthday, madam, he prays before partaking, and pats his mouth after

    with a lipstick-smeared over-the-hill cocktail napkin.


    At the end of our shift, we waitresses drink and linger at the service door,

    raising a glass to our hometown boy from a half-drunk

    bottle of Dom Perignon, while wedding guests stagger to their cars,

    and the moon shines full and golden on us all.





    Submitted on 2007-11-02 15:49:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      P.S if my comment didn't make sense, it's because i'm surviving off of 1 and a half hours of sleep.
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by jesus etc. | [ Reply to This ]
      raising a glass to our hometown boy from a half-drunk

    bottle of Dom Perignon,


    i think t would sound better if you said "raising a glas of dom perignon to our half-drunk hometown boy" but that's just what i would do.

    as for what you did, i think it was absolutely wonderful. i love reading about people, those slice of life writings about the characters we encounter in life that leave an impression upon us without doing anything astounding but by just being zany. i think this story is wonderful. you have done with this man what i would like to do with everyone around me, but i cannot describe or write apiece that would do their livelihood or lack thereof, justice. this character of yours is loveable and capricious. i don't know what he'll do next. in my head he's still existing and doing really weird things. i think you've created another imaginary friend that i must add to my collection.

    i'll be reading your other writes.
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by jesus etc. | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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