Crying blood on open wounds
Howling wolves. It is full moon.
Tombstones. Graveyard. Evil's cross
She will walk until she's lost
In the teachings of the sane:
Nothing's lost if nothing's gained.
Truer words were never spoken...
That's a shame that she is broken.
Blood is dropping from her veins
Flesh hangs lose, conseals the pain.
Crawling barely she tries
To reveal her flashing eyes
Full of hatered, full of lust
Full of treachery, distrust.
Pitch black sky recieved her corpse
Stone for heart and no remorse
the last four lines remind me of pushkin. =]
i like this very much, my favorite lines are
"Blood is dropping from her veins
Flesh hangs lose, conseals the pain."
i like the imagery: very rich and creative.
You have lots of dark imagery in this poem that you use to convey your "random feelings," but I think the rhyming in the first six lines isn't as good as the last six. The rhymes in the last six are crisp, whereas the first ones are mostly slant rhymes. You also have a lot of spelling errors, but that's always easy to fix.
I think the line I like the most, because it is the most original, is the line "She will walk [until] she's lost." If you are considering a revision of this poem, I think you should expand and elaborate on this point.
Submission Name: Crying blood
