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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: New world Orderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sharati_hottie
    ASL Info:    20/ Female / MICHIGAN
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 86/81/90
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1365
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1046



    Description:
       I just thought this up at 4:30 this morning
    I just think this is how our government is.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNew world Orderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears, they stain, My clothes blood red
    with no sign from which they'll end
    the gratuitous gestures and lives we live
    will help our government dish what they give

    We cannot stop them, no matter the tries
    forever we'll live on, as our soul dies
    "Do what we say and your life will be perfect"
    should we listen to them, is this way worth it?

    Do we give up our soul and live on forever
    or do we give up our lives and never surrender?
    we can never take over, they rule too high
    they tower above us, like the clouds in the sky

    History will not change, and neither will we
    no more are we allowed, to live like the free
    This world we live in, and its unending torture
    will eventually give in, and we'll die like before

    Our time has come, no stopping now
    make your decision, fight or bow
    we DO NOT have a chance anymore,
    do we live like slaves, or die on the floor?




    Submitted on 2007-11-03 14:29:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      ah..........

    since i didnt take my hat off to you before i must definitly do so now my great poet. sincerly i loved the poem the firtst time but now it is simple wonderful.....


    there are many parts of this that i like.....one thata really caught my attention was the following line.....

    "History will not change, and neither will we
    no more are we allowed, to live like the free"


    the reason this strikes me is everyone country/person or act that has ever been made started like this , poeplto choose their lives and live with came with it victory or glory and as we welll know not everyone got their glory


    but all in all im glad i took the time out to reread....

    btw... sorry for the wait ive beena tad busy :)

    -the girl who cried wolf to much
    | Posted on 2008-08-06 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is the united states government spelled out to the T it reminds me of the times when kings ruled and dukes were in every household

    maybe when the french and the english were at war i like it though i think the beginning could be a little better though

    towards the end you focus more on your rhyming than at the top ...my suggestion do the same to the begining ,but thats just me

    -the girl who cried wolf to much
    | Posted on 2007-12-26 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]


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    152093

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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