I did something like this once to the "Our Father", but I like what you did here better than mine. It kinda seems like the prayer was made for someone to do this. Some may think this is twisted, but I really like it. I'm adding this to my favorites'.
this makes me think of a metallica song... enter sandman... in that song they have 'now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my soul to keep and if i die before i wake...' while also singing about sleeping with one eye open gripping your pillow tight.
i think this has been done a few times before.
i am not sure whether you repetition of darkness in the first stanza works for me.
but good shot. lets hope this 'prayer' doesnt come to pass
that is very demented, but a wonderful twist on a prayer. although i do enjoy the lord better than the darkness. this poem is very morbid though, and i enjoyed it. this poem could be lyrics to an annihilator song or something.
anyways, my favorite stanza is your third one. you should be proud of the thought you put into this. good job.