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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Disarmeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: austin
    ASL Info:    22/ Male/ Odessa, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 376/396/84
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDisarmeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The glare of the sun washes the memories anew...

    they flood in, consuming the brain
    almost waiting for the right time
    where i'm most vulnerable.
    not to worry, it seems i'm always like that

    this time is different however
    the faces of those gone seem to be with me
    riding down the highway, in the next seat
    and I wish i could make it that way

    phone calls from friends, good news, bad news
    it all makes me a little nervous, sometimes scared
    makes me think if the road i'm on...is right

    and the sun glares on...




    Submitted on 2007-11-03 18:56:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like that the sun was of no help in this moment of time.
    usually light is a term/image used to create a sense of understanding and clarity and yet in this piece here it just glares.
    i never associate a glare with a good moment. parents glare at their kids when kids say new [but very inappropriate] words they have learnt in front of their grandparents. girls glare at their boys for checking out other girls. wives glare at husbands for the same.
    for the sun to glare makes it seem unrelenting and unhappy.

    i like how flippantly you seem to state that you are always vulnerable. there is power to be found in such honesty and the way you said it seemed to dismiss the thought but it helps the reader to understand better...

    i think you have done well here.
    i like the driving my car and thinking feel this piece has...
    modest mouse has an album called 'this is a long way to drive for someone with nothing to think about' and i often how far i would drive if i did have something to think about...

    hope you find you are on the the right road and if not i hope the next exit ramp is very soon...
    | Posted on 2007-11-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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